Santa, Baby.
December 10th, 2001 by Kevin
Wow. Two days without an entry. I went out and got myself a life while Christmas shopping. Heh.So here’s my weekend in a nutshell, if you like giant nuts.
Saturday, D. and I took J. downtown to go ooh and ah at all the store windows. There’s a free trolley(which looks EXACTLY like the Mr. Rogers trolley) that runs downtown during the holidays, so you can go just about anywhere of interest for free. First we went to Marshall Fields, which is famous for its beautiful and elaborate window displays. I’m normally not the type of person who gets their ya-yas from looking in windows. I’d rather be at the MAC counter, shopping it up. But Fields’s windows are tough to resist. It must have taken 300 people at least six months to design and create them. There were about ten large windows, and each had an animatronic scene from The Night Before Christmas. There were people lined up for blocks.
J. was suitably amped, and I was glad. Usually he’s fairly unimpressed by anything that kids are supposed to get a kick out of, and it irritates the crap out of me. I want reaction from my kid. I want jumping up and down. I want screams of laughter. I want, “Mommy, you are the BEST for bringing me to this wonderful holiday spectacle, even thought it’s thirty degrees outside and you’d rather be at home with some good coffee and a bad movie!”
Next, we went to the Christkindlmarket, which is this little German festival that they have in the Daley Center every year. I love Chicago. Where else can you stand out in the freezing cold and drink beer and eat bratwurst? I was able to resist the 14-dollar hand-painted glass ornaments, but it involved a little brute force from D.’s end. We waited in an obscenely long line to see the Christ-fliegen-floggen-market Santa Claus, and I have to tell you - it was worth every inch of frostbitten skin.
J. immediately jumped on Santa’s lap and began a Rainman-esqe rambling of all the vehicles he wanted for Christmas.
“I want a Jeep. Please. And I wast a police car. Please. And I want a remote ‘trol car. Please. And I want a firetruck. Please…”
I stood in the doorway of the Santa hut and stared.
I have never believed in Santa Claus. I was raised as a cynical, hard-headed child by two cynical, hard-headed realists. We don’t “do” mythical holiday icons.
Nevertheless, I’m firmly and wholeheartedly convinced - I met Santa. I swear to God, if this guy wasn’t real, then I’m Ebenezer Freaking Scrooge. This man was perfect, from the REAL beard and mustache down to the genuine leather boots with big cuffs and buckles.
I sat there staring like an idiot through about ten minutes of J.’s speech, until D. pinched me. But Santa wasn’t irritated in the least by the fact that I let my kid ramble on and on like Dustin Hoffman. He just smiled, and all the patient wisdom of the ages just shone through his eyes like a Christmas moon. I was smitten. I wanted to jump up on this man’s lap and start begging for stuff like world peace and perfect eyesight and new carpet and argyle socks.
I have seen some bullshit mall Santas in my time, and I’m telling you, this dude was the Real McCoy.
He handed us some candy canes, and we got our Polaroid and boogied, D. steering me forcibly out the door by the shoulders.
The picture is on my dresser in a frame, and I am keeping it forever.
Afterwards, I had a little coffee to unshock myself, and we headed back onto the trolley. This trolley driver was a piece of work. He was about 60 or so, with bleach-blond hair, huge Harry Caray glasses, and looked vaguely like Martin Short as Jiminy Glick. He gave running commentary during the trip which was really quite entertaining. You could tell the guy was a weird uncle. Everyone has a weird uncle(or cousin, or grandpa) that tells stupid jokes and dresses like a freak, but you love him to death because he’s so utterly unself-conscious and happy. He smiled at J. and called him a handsome kid. I wanted to hug him on the way out.
Yes, I’m just a sentimental fool today. Holiday sightseeing in my own city does that to me.
We got absolutely NO Christmas shopping done, but it was fun.
Sunday we went to Old Navy because there was a huge sale, and we spent an amount of money that I still really can’t bring myself to type or say out loud. We got approximately two gifts, and about twenty items of clothing each for ourselves. Ho ho ho.
Today I’m sitting around like a bump on a log, calling everyone I know to beg them to take me to the eye doctor.
I hate not being able to drive. There is nothing more humiliating than having to call people who are already swamped with holiday errands to beg for rides. Goodbye, pride.
Today, I’m having no luck whatsoever, and that’s not good. My eye infection has apparently come back with an attitude, and my eye feels like a big sharp rock in the socket. I’d like to pop it out and soak it in Visine for a few hours.
Well, I’ll probably write more later, since I’ve been remiss all weekend and there are several more tales of pre-holiday madness to tell.
I know you’ll be waiting with bated breath.
retro wrote on 11/19/07 at 9:12 am :
Hard to believe Christmas is already around the corner. I am ready for some Thanksgiving turkey though.