Trancejen

My Babydaddy.

I rarely talk about the father of my child, also known as The Shit. I only answer well-meaning questions if pressed.
Yes, my son’s brown eyes come from his father, who is Latino. No, he doesn’t look Latino. (What does it mean to “look Latino”? A sombrero? Fucking huaraches?)
He is a Cubonkey, […]

Posted in The J-Man | 47 Comments »

Air Wars.

It’s hot. It’s in the nineties, and it’s supposed to stay that way for at least a few more days.
This is subject to change at any given moment, of course, because this is Chicago and for all I know it may drop down to forty degrees during the next five minutes.
I don’t think any […]

Posted in GRAAAAH | 19 Comments »

It Hurtssss My Earssss.

When it comes to certain noises, I am a big, fat wuss.
I can listen to industrial and punk rock music at ear-bleed-inducing volumes, I can stand in the middle of a horribly crowded nightclub and shout over the fray with no problem whatsoever, and I can even listen to a really tone-deaf karaoke singer belt […]

Posted in GRAAAAH, The J-Man | 51 Comments »

The Weekly Drunken (i wish) Photoblog, Volume III, Chuck E. Cheese.

‘SUP
WENT TO CHUCK E CHEESE
AS YOU MAY IMAGINE I WAS THRILLED TO NO END
SOMETIMES YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO
PLACE FREAKS ME OUT, THOUGH
I DON’T LIKE FURRIES UNLESS THEY LOOK LIKE THIS
THEY EXPOSE CHILDREN TO RADIATION
LOCK THEM IN CAGES (NOT A BAD IDEA, ACTUALLY)
OMG FILTH AND DISEASE
HYPODERMIC NEEDLES
CAN’T SAY THE MOMS […]

Posted in Photoblogs, The J-Man | 86 Comments »

Homecomeing.

One more early summer memory pervades my thoughts this week, and it’s you, the baby in the bassinet, so far removed from the tall tanned boy I watch zipping down the street on the scooter every day.
When you were new, I took you home with awkward arms that were unused to anything so small that […]

Posted in Uncategorized | 55 Comments »

Underwear, Or a Lack Thereof.

I love underwear. (I refuse to say “panties”. “Panties” is a stupid word. When I worked at Victoria’s Secret I was forced to say “panties” instead of underwear and the word felt foreign and far too prissy in my mouth.)
At last count I owned eighty-three pairs. A lot of them don’t […]

Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

Ow.

Microwave coughs, chokes, dies.
Jen goes to Target. Jen falls in love with adorable little red microwave, which sadly does not match green-themed kitchen.
Jen decides to redecorate the kitchen in red.
All present parties consider this perfectly sane.
Jen breaks back first time putting microwave into cart, completely disregarding neurologist and pain clinic doctor and physical therapist, […]

Posted in I Am Stupid | 2 Comments »

Hello.

So, I’ve moved.  This is the new location of TranceJen, which was previously located at Diaryland.com for five years.  I’m happy to join the Pointless Banter team, primarily because they’re a bunch of nut jobs.
I should fit right in.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of fucking archives to move.
This is proving to be a bit tricky.  […]

Posted in Uncategorized | 66 Comments »

The Weekly Drunken Photoblog, Volume II.

‘SUP

HAD A PRETTY MELLOW DAY

PAINTED MY TOES

READ VINCE’S BOOK

WATCHED ORSON SLEEP

FOUND OUT MY FISH ARE EATING EACH OTHER

NO SHIT

I THINK IT’S THIS ONE, HE LOOKS GUILTY

NOW IS THE TIME FOR BEER

AS YOU MAY NOTICE I LOVE BEER

I MEAN I REALLY DO LOVE BEER
JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR ON THAT

SOMETIMES I THINK LUCKY COULD USE A BEER

MY […]

Posted in Drunkassery, Photoblogs | 109 Comments »

The Weekend Of Suck.

Sadly, dear friends, this was the Weekend Of Suck.
I would very much like those three days of my life back, and I would like them to be remixed by Paul Oakenfold until they are cheery and happy and conducive to smiley smiley roller-skating (see: Diet Coke commercial).
Sometimes Fuckbrain is kind to me and I am […]

Posted in Fuckbrain, The J-Man | 3 Comments »