Jen, Mother of Two? and Racist Neighbors.
July 10th, 2006 by Kevin
Please note in the post below that I am adding new posts daily from 2001 on up. So if you happen to catch anything about my being engaged/potty training/the like, you’ve caught an old post that hasn’t been dated correctly. I sure as shit am not engaged.
So, I seem to have acquired another child.
Dre is eleven and has been at my house every single day for the last two weeks from about three or four o’clock until nine at night.
I like him. He’s a good kid. He gets along really well with the J-Man, they share a lot of common interests, and the kid is really smart and unfailingly polite, so it sort of keeps J. in check moreso than some of the little heathens ’round the way.
It just shocks me that he’s here every damn day. Even his mother calls him my other son.
I can understand why a kid would want to hang out here. We have a small pool, a Slip ‘n’ Slide, a swingset, a fairly big yard, lots of toys, a PS2, and I’m pretty good about supplying the kids with Popsicles and little snacks and squirt guns and what have you. I suppose I would like hanging out here if I were a kid.
Still, every day? This kid eats dinner with the family more than my mother does.
I joke to Dre that he is starting to look just like me, which makes him roll his eyes and laugh, because I am copy-paper white and he is a deep mahogany brown.
There was an incident here recently involving Dre that illustrated that racism certainly is alive and well in my neighborhood, and I must admit that it shocked me. I just don’t expect it around here. It’s pretty diverse around these parts.
I have an elderly neighbor across the street who sometimes watches her grandson, who you may know as Driveway-Watering Neighbor and The Spawn of Satan, respectively if you are a long-time reader. I’ve talked about them several times before.
The Spawn of Satan came over to play with J., and they were being reasonably cool, and then Dre came over and started playing with them as well. They were all getting along great, playing Teen Titans and basically making a friendly ruckus.
Not one minute after Dre came over, Driveway-Watering Neighbor ran across the street to pick up her charge and said, “Come on [Spawn of Satan], we have to go now.”
“But Mom’s not here yet, is she?”
“We have to go. Get your shoes on. Are your shoes on? Get them on NOW.”
“Hi, Driveway-Watering Neighbor,” I said.
She didn’t say a word to me and hustled Spawn out of the house.
I then remembered a story another neighbor had told me about Driveway-Watering Neighbor.
This woman, who is a good friend of mine, lives next door to Driveway-Watering Neighbor. She has a little boy a year younger than J. Apparently one day her little boy had a friend over to play who was black, and later, after the child had gone home, Driveway-Watering Neighbor had said, “I wouldn’t let that child play with no little nigger kids.”
Yeah.
So obviously this is why Spawn of Satan was abruptly dragged from my house.
I was so pissed I could have shit nails.
Dre was still at my house and was thankfully, seemingly unaware of the whole thing; which was the only thing that prevented me from going across the street and screaming, “WHAT’S THE MATTER, GOT A LITTLE TOO DARK IN HERE FOR YA?? LATE FOR YOUR FUCKING KLAN MEETING??”
I understand that people like that are from a very different generation, but I don’t believe that that gives them an excuse to act like complete and utter assholes. If Dre had been a little older I’m sure he would have picked up on that, and it would have been really hurtful.
I look at elementary school kids, who generally could not give less of a shit about a person’s color, and I wonder what happens down the line, when that line gets crossed, why we wind up passing prejudices down to our children, when it is that they end up accepting those unwritten “rules”, why so many people are taught that people of other races or colors are different or bad or that all of us should stick to our “own kind”.
I’m not just talking about blatant racists, either. Everyone has a few prejudices, I’m sure.
It makes me sad that anyone could be afraid of or disdainful of this kid, this great kid, that someone would actually yank their grandkid away just to avoid him.
meredith wrote on 07/10/06 at 9:53 am :
I was raised outside of San Francisco. Very progressive, very open-minded. The last thing my family ever commented on was the religion, race or sexual orientation of another person. It just wasn’t what defined them. I pretty much figured everyone was the same way.
I moved to New Orleans at 19. Holy shit is racism alive and well in the south. I watched a woman prefer her white poodle to her black poodle (which she called nigger dog). It was strongly requested by my boss that I not wear an african inspired hat I had purchased at the French Market. There was a strong feeling of ‘us’ and ‘them’. And heaven help them if they found out I was dating one of the black managers.
It drove me insane. I threw people out of my apartment for using the “n” word. It was the single best learning experience of my life. And I am grateful I was raised with an open mind.
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 10:20 am :
I was raised to be pretty open minded too, thank God. I’ll admit I acquired some serious prejudices during high school, because there was a lot of gang-related violence and most of it was Latino, but thankfully I’ve grown out of it.
Jersey Nick wrote on 07/10/06 at 11:28 am :
While racism = bad, doesn’t no-more-spawn-of-satan = good?
I’m inviting Dre over every day…
Melissa wrote on 07/10/06 at 11:48 am :
Somehow, I managed to grow up without the racism, despite having grown up in the far northern fringe of the Mormon corridor (where the phrase “white and delightsome” is still the ideal to being worthy of God, despite many public relations claims to the contrary). I agree, Jen, that some of it might be from “a very different generation,” but not… and hopefully most… isn’t. Sensible people pay attention when wrong behaviors are pointed out to them, and they change. Assholes are assholes, regardless of the generation they come from.
Jer wrote on 07/10/06 at 1:09 pm :
I have to agree, racism is still alive and well in the south and I think it goes both ways. Sadly, though, I think that children don’t learn racism until an adults teaches it to them. And you better believe that “spawn-of-satan” will ask WHY he had to go home that day.
Anonymous wrote on 07/10/06 at 1:29 pm :
i find this a bit unusual considering all the “mexican” neighbor rants of late.
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 2:10 pm :
Oh, give me a break. The neighbors are Mexican. I’m not ranting on them because they’re Mexican. I’m ranting because they’re blowing off huge amounts of fireworks at all hours of the night, playing loud music at all hours of the night, and generally being loud and disturbing. I would rant whether they were white, Mexican, Puerto Rican, black, red, or green. I used to rant about the white trash people that used to live in the same building the same damned way.
Anonymous commenters kill me. Why not even leave your internet handle?? Am I going to track you down on the internet and TP your internet house?
Kungfukitten wrote on 07/10/06 at 2:46 pm :
It just goes to show you that racism is something that is taught. Kids are so great because they’re color blind. People are just people to them. I wish we could all be like that.
And wouldn’t you TCP/IP someone’s internet house? Ha ha ha ha. Oh, I crack myself up.
Anonymous wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:05 pm :
I actually don’t have an internet handle which is why I did not leave one. I merely wanted to point out that some people reading your blog (or myspace) may see diffrently the frequency of “fucking mexican” neighbor stories, and think it is intersting next to this pariticular entry.
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:22 pm :
Maybe you’re right. But I hope everyone is assured that I am an equal opportunity fuck-er.
Not to be confused with an equal opportunity fucker.
But I suppose I’m that, too.
Anyone remember the “fucking white trash” neighbors with the booty-dancing daughters??
warcrygirl wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:22 pm :
Wouldn’t it be weird if she complained of loud hispanic music if she DIDN’T include that they were Mexican? And did you know that there are prejudices among hispanics as well? Mexicans hate the Peurto Ricans, etc. Not all racism is learned from parents; sometimes it’s learned from peers as a way of ‘fitting in’. I have relatives who use the “n” word in casual conversation (not necessarily to describe a black person) and I HATE it. I even hate it when black comedians use it. The “n” word is the “n” word is the “n” word, no matter who says it.
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:26 pm :
I guess I don’t care if black people use it because they’ve taken it back, they’ve come to own it, I guess is the popular theory behind its popularity; but I still don’t get it in a way.
I wouldn’t call myself a cracker or a kike or a Heeb, and I’d be offended if someone did.
Except cracker. I think that’s kinda funny.
Cosmic wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:26 pm :
My son came home from school at the age of 7 and said he had a new friend. He told us the boys name (His last name was very unique) and my friend said, “Hey, I used to hang around a guy by that name. What does he look like?” Jeff said he had brown hair. Friend asked what his hair was like. Short long? Straight or curly? Jeff said it was curly. Then he asked about his eyes. Jeff said they were dark brown. Finally, trying to find out if this was his friends son, he asked, “Is he black?” Jeff’s answer was priceless. “Oh ya. I guess he is.” I am glad my kids were raised to look at the person and not the skin. Since my three grandbabies are bi-racial, I guess they learned well.
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:27 pm :
We call my son a Cubonkey = half Cuban, half honkey.
When I first heard this term, I laughed my motherfucking ass off.
My friend Alex calls himself a Polxican = half Polish, half Mexican.
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:29 pm :
My son called black people “brown” for six years and still does sometimes. I have to remind him that they prefer “black” or “African American” (although I personally don’t know too many black people that prefer “African-American”).
He’s right. They’re brown. It’s a hard thing to explain.
Cosmic wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:32 pm :
Well, I guess my grandbabies could be called french-african with a side of Irish. I just call them my whole world and a bag of chips.
Mare wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:48 pm :
It’s never occurred to me that ‘wop’ could be offensive, because I use it about myself, and my distinctly Italian family tosses it back and forth. Then I met someone who was shocked that I would utter the word. I don’t know. Is wop offensive to other Italians?
fredlet wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:49 pm :
I totally agree with Jersey Nick…no more evil child from next door.
Looks like the universe gave you a gift!
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 3:59 pm :
Mare, are you a do-wop or a don’t-wop?
Or a do-wop shoo-bop?
trancejen wrote on 07/10/06 at 4:04 pm :
And yeah, at least I won’t have to worry about broken furniture anymore….
Kat wrote on 07/10/06 at 5:58 pm :
Isn’t Spawn the same one that broke J-Man’s bed here a few years ago??? Good grief, what a family.
Josh wrote on 07/10/06 at 9:12 pm :
Wow, great conversation. I live in Oakland California. I take public transit everywhere I can’t walk. I find the ‘n word’ deeply offensive. I don’t really buy the whole reclaiming it thing. But then again, I’ll gleefully describe myself as an asshole under certain circumstances…
As for the generation thing, I won’t give that train of thought the time of day. Anyone, anywhere in America today knows what kind of language is racist. Ok there’s my two bits.
ang wrote on 07/11/06 at 12:37 pm :
My daughter is the same age as J and she still says brown instead of black. Of course she calls me white, her Aunt Jade is tan, her dad is tan-er, and Aunt Erica is peach. I live smack dab in the middle of the rascist south and if I can teach the kid that it really is JUST A COLOR, even with my older relatives flashing the ‘n’ word around, then I will have accomplished something. Good luck. I personally would’ve started the Great 2006 Neighborhood War if that old, nasty, rascist, bitch had done that. Good self-control!!!
Mare wrote on 07/11/06 at 4:27 pm :
Jen, I’m a do-wop… but only if I’m in the mood.
Shooby-dooby-doo-doo-wop-she-bop-a-lu-bop-a-lula.
trancejen wrote on 07/12/06 at 3:22 pm :
I knew you were a do-wop.
It’s the shoes, you see.
nico wrote on 07/13/06 at 10:39 am :
Next time Ms Klan was outside, I’d suddenly get the urge to water the lawn with the hose on high, and turn suddenly “HI NEIGHBOR” and turn the hose on her. Purely by accident. my Brainfarts, you see. Never know when one’s gonna happen!
I gave my mom supreme shit for calling a car of people “packies.” aiee mother! That’s RUDE. I was mortified. I’m so glad I don’t live in the same town or province as her, I left because it was so close-minded and racist.
RoseAnn wrote on 07/18/06 at 12:21 am :
My Children r Italian Mexican French English Scottish and Irish and Native American
It ts a melting pot one day there will be a medium blend shade and impossile to sort out nationalities~ I may not live to see it but I will be smiling down on all the beautiful children
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