An Unfinished Book and The Word of the Day Is…

July 13th, 2006 by Kevin

COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE AND MORE MOTHERFUCKING COFFEE BRING ON THE DAMN COFFEE CLEAN THE BATHROOM CLEAN THE KITCHEN CLEAN THE CEILING LICK THE WALLS BOIL THE J-MAN JUST GIVE ME SOME MORE BLACK COFFEE COFFEE COFFEEEEEEE!!!

YEAH.

I lost ten pounds, which is enough to make me Very Fucking Happy.

Of course, this could be the coffee talking. The coffee likes to talk a lot. At really rapid speeds. Woe to you should you call me today, because Ireallyhavealottosaytoyou! YesIdo!

Hi!

Coffee! Fuckin’ A!

Lately I have decided that I have been rotting my damaged little brain with far too much teevee and have instead been reading every evening, nose to the page, for as long as I can possibly manage until my remaining eye says, “NO MORE!” and I am forced to put my book down and jam a cold rag into my eye socket.

While I do believe that most of the purported mystical medical properties of the cold rag are indeed bullshit (cold rag for the smallpox - useless), I will concede that a cold rag over the strained eyeball really does work wonders.

It bothers the hell out of me to leave a book unfinished. I feel as if I’ve taken a shower and neglected to wash my hoo-hah, or perhaps left the conditioner in my hair.

I can almost hear the unread pages calling me from the nightstand.

“Jennnnn… Jennnnn… We are here… We are loaded with plot twists and interesting metaphors and amazing character insights… Come to ussss…”

It’s awful. In elementary school I would sit in the closet all night with a flashlight, reading Stephen King novels until the dawn, becoming pissed off if I did not finish by the time I had to get up for school.

Damn you and your verbosity, Stephen King. I mean, really. The Stand weighs about forty pounds in hardbacked form.

I’ve read just about every book in the house at least three times, save my mom’s copy of The Purpose-Driven Life, which frankly scares the hell out of me, the Celestine Prophecy, which was… dreck, and The Idiot’s Guide To Photoshop, which proves that I am apparently a sub-idiot.

What are you reading this summer? Any suggestions? I am always up for new reading material.

Hit me up in the comments section.


The J-Man is starting swimming lessons today at the Y, so if you hear the faint sounds of shrill screaming in your state/country/wherever you may be, it is the sound of my son reacting to being asked to put his face in the water.He loves the beach, the pool, the bath, the sprinkler, whatever, but put his pristine little face in the water? Surely you must be joking.Happy Thursday.

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117 Responses to “An Unfinished Book and The Word of the Day Is…”

  1. Sheila wrote on 07/13/06 at 12:18 pm :

    Hi Jenn, I’m also on a reading jag. Crappy summer TV. I just read “A Thread of Grace” by Mary Doria Russell, which I liked a lot. It’s about Germans, Jews, and Resistance fighters in Italy toward the end of WWII.

    I also luuurrrved “The Last Report on the Miracles at Little No Horse” by Louise Ehrdrich, which was one of last year’s summer reads.

    And I always recommend “Midnight’s Children” by Salman Rushdie, which I’ve read a lot of times. One of the best novels ever, in my humble opinion.

    What are yoe reading (or re-reading, as the case may be)?

  2. Wrin wrote on 07/13/06 at 12:32 pm :

    Fuck. Anything by Jacqueline Carey.

    Preferably in order.

    If you can get your hands on the Kushiel’s stuff, be prepared for lots of hot hot secks.

  3. Kate wrote on 07/13/06 at 12:34 pm :

    I just finished Lapham Rising by Roger Rosenblatt, which I liked, and Utterly Monkey by Nick Laird, which I liked a LOT. And now I’m reading When All is Said and Done by Robert Hill and it’s …. okay. I also read a bunch of stuff by Elizabeth Berg, which is really too sappy to recommend, but I liked it anyway. She writes feel good, light-read, summery stuff.

    What kind of books do you like? I have tons of suggestions. I’m a huge fan of the New York Public Library and read three or four books a week.

  4. Laura from Canada wrote on 07/13/06 at 2:05 pm :

    Now, don’t freak out, but the book that has made my life is, Cunt: A Declaration of Independence. It is funny, insightful and just downright the greatest book I’ve read in a while.

    In a completely different direction, A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews is EXCELLENT (and I don’t use capitals for nothing).

    Good reading to you!

  5. Laura from Canada wrote on 07/13/06 at 2:07 pm :

    Oh yeah, and I am also in favour of the cold cloth on the strained eye and/or head.

    And coffee….

    Yeah….

    Coffee…

  6. ang wrote on 07/13/06 at 2:14 pm :

    I snagged one of the spouse’s Jonathan Kellerman books while on vacation and I’m really digging him right now. It’s a pretty light read, but still interesting enough to keep you coming back for more. Plus, gay homocide detective and a shrink team up to solve murders? That’s enough mental fodder for 101 summer nights.

  7. trancejen wrote on 07/13/06 at 2:36 pm :

    I just read Susan Gilman’s Hypocrite in a Poufy White Dress (funny shit), LifeSize by Jenefer Shute (anorexia), Memoirs of a Geisha (really good), the third Ya-Ya book, forgot what it’s called - not that memorable, Reading Lolita In Tehran by Azar Nafisi, Joan Didion’s latest which I ALWAYS forget the name of, Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri, Ugly Bungalow by Vincent Truman (a friend on MySpace - great book!), London something something by James Patterson, William something something’s Darkness Visible, and the goddamned Idiot’s Guide to Photoshop which can go suck a dick. And I’m reading the fifth diary of Anais Nin, and half-assedly going through a little Proust.

  8. meredith wrote on 07/13/06 at 2:37 pm :

    Anything and everything by Augesten Burroughs. His short story called Sacred Cow had me bawling and laughing out loud on an airplane.

  9. Dana wrote on 07/13/06 at 2:50 pm :

    I’m reading Wicked right now and loving it. I also recommend The Traveler by John Twelve Hawks.

  10. wickedfun wrote on 07/13/06 at 3:10 pm :

    Well…

    Just finished reading “Ella Enchanted” chapter book style with the little one last week (took 2 renews at the old library to get through it though).

    I am reading “Rats” by Robert Sullivan, and it is interesting, but not “can’t put it down” good.

    Last week, I enjoyed “A brief history of the dead” by Kevin Brockmeir, and “Which brings me to you” by Steve Almond and Juliana Baggott.

    Just read the 2nd Frankenstein novel by Dean Koontz…I think the third is due out this month some time.

    I read trashy romance novels like they are “Lays” potato chips and plowed my way through the entire Carpathian series by Christine Feehan (romancing the undead), also on the nightstand 6-8 Nora Roberts…talk about your sheer escapism.

    Re-read the Lindsay Boxer series by Patterson, and started Lifeguard but lost interest and did not bother to check it out again to slog through.

    LOL…want to know what I am reading THIS week? ;-)
    Dee

  11. lost indie wrote on 07/13/06 at 3:18 pm :

    Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. Trust me….it’s quirky. Also A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. I’ve read Wicked as well and loved it.

    I am unemployed this summer and have been thinking of reading the Laura Ingalls series. I never read them as a child. Not sure why. I do know that at one time I read all the books in the young adult series in my local library.

  12. heather wrote on 07/13/06 at 3:36 pm :

    Oh yes, I second “Geek Love” and recommend anything by Haruki Murakami. “Kafka on the Shore” is his latest and is a wonderfully strange surreal story of a boy and an old man. I just read “Marie Antoinette : The Journey” by Antonia Fraser quite engaging as well.

  13. michael wrote on 07/13/06 at 4:25 pm :

    Hairstyles of the Damned, Good Omens, The Blind Assassin (Atwood fucking rocks; The Tent (her collection of short stories is good as well)), the Janet Evanovich series with Stephanie Plum as the main character (funny!), When the Emporer Was Divine (very short)

  14. Snickelfritz wrote on 07/13/06 at 4:28 pm :

    I just read “Wicked” and was very happy with it! It was a completely unexpected story.

    I have the Celestine Prophecy I need to read and Dogs in Translation. But right now, I can’t get to either, because I’m consumed in my damned Math book.

  15. Lisa wrote on 07/13/06 at 4:35 pm :

    I just finished “Peyton Amberg” by Tama Janowitz which I liked very much

  16. M wrote on 07/13/06 at 4:44 pm :

    Hi Jen,

    I just discovered Michael Gruber. Tropic of Night is the S-H-I-T.
    Supernatural thrillers, Valley of Bones and Night of the Jaguar
    are next.

    Enjoy!

  17. Kizz wrote on 07/13/06 at 4:47 pm :

    I second Geek Love, it’s a fave. Time Traveler’s Wife is a must read, oh my god, to good. And I just finished A Home at the End of the World by Michael Cunningham who wrote The Hours. Do you do Vampire fic? The Anita Blake series by Laurell K. Hamilton is great.

  18. Laura from Canada wrote on 07/13/06 at 5:22 pm :

    Alright, I forgot the one book that is loved by every single person who I have given to: The Red Tent by Anita Diamont (sp?). Beautiful and haunting. It definitely stays with you. But, I will warn you, it takes a few pages to get into it. But persistence pays off.

    Have a lovely evening!

  19. golfwidow wrote on 07/13/06 at 5:34 pm :

    I love Wicked. In fact, I heart Wicked. I might even venture to say I less than three it.

    This summer, as every summer, I’m cracking my old friends. The More Than Complete Hitchhiker’s Guide by Douglas Adams and, when that’s done, Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. If you appreciate the funny, and the writer who has A Way With Words, and I think you do, go work your library card on either or both of those.

  20. Lisa wrote on 07/13/06 at 6:34 pm :

    I just finished “Slow Motion” by Dani Shapiro- a memoir about her self-destructive lifestyle and her complicated relationship with her mother after a tragedy stuck their family- good stuff. She is also the author of several books of fiction, and the ones I’ve read have been good. Also, anything I’ve read by Jodi Picoult has been good, and her books are usually long, which I like, as I can devour a book if I put my mind to it. Also, anything by Elizabeth Graver is good. “The Dogs of Babel,” by Carolyn Pankhurst (sp?) is a good read. Nick Hornby’s books are good. My favorites from the past several years are “The Time Traveller’s Wife,” “The Secret History” by Donna Tartt and “Truth and Beauty” by Ann Padgett- all three were simply stunning.

  21. Martha wrote on 07/13/06 at 10:03 pm :

    Favorites of my book club this year: “The Coldest Winter Ever” by Sister Souljah - gritty but great and “The Birth of Venus” by Sarah Dunant. Recently read “A Widow for One Year” by John Irving. I love his work and this book didn’t disappoint. I am now reading “Devil in the White City” which is set in your fair city - Chicago - in 1893 during the World’s Fair - it’s fascinating.

  22. maddy again wrote on 07/13/06 at 10:19 pm :

    If you’re gonna read geek love (do, if you haven’t already) then you must also read ‘a prayer for owen meany’ by john irving. Somehow those books just work together. They have a lot of similarities and I always lend them out in tandem. For ‘this’ll take some time’ kind of reading, ‘I, claudius’ and ‘claudius the god’ are superb. And I just read a koontz book while we were in hawaii… *thinking* ah, ‘velocity’. It was very good, read-it-in-a-day kind of stuff.

  23. mizzy wrote on 07/13/06 at 11:11 pm :

    You’ll love the Discworld series by Terry Pratchett. Just type “discworld” into Wikipedia; it gives a list.

  24. Bozoette Mary wrote on 07/14/06 at 7:15 am :

    Bel Canto, by Anne Patchett — beautiful. For quick fun reads, the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich — great sex scenes. I second the suggestion for “A Thread of Grace”, but it’s depressing. I enjoyed King’s “Cell”, but it’s not his best stuff.

  25. Deirdre wrote on 07/14/06 at 8:45 am :

    I am also an avid reader, and have found a few that are must reads. I really like anything from Sandra Brown…….she had a jag where she was a romance novelist, under another pen name, and they have re-relased her stuff now. Just ignore the romance stuff, though it isn’t bad if you are into that sort of thing. I like her suspense novels, and so does my hubby. Just finished “White Hot” and it was very good. All time fave of hers is “Envy.” Another great read……and guilty pleasure of mine is reading Sandra Hill. Her books are WAY out there……time traveling Vikings, no less……but full of humor that makes you laugh out loud. Just go into it knowing it is pure fluff. Another great read is “Lovely Bones” by Alice Sebold. I read it in one day……..just couldn’t put it down.
    And thanks to everyone else for the suggestions…..I have a list to check out next time I go to the used book store.
    Deirdre

  26. Kevin wrote on 07/14/06 at 11:24 am :

    Trance, check out my “Bookcase” link on my page.

    Also, I am currently reading “Midnight’s Children” by Salman Rushdie and second the person above. It’s a fantastic novel.

  27. Stub wrote on 07/14/06 at 11:30 am :

    If you like action/adventure, read Wilbur Smith. He has many many books out and I have loved every single one that I have read.

  28. Michele wrote on 07/14/06 at 1:36 pm :

    mind candy books - the cat who… series by melanie jackson braun are quick easy reads…

  29. trancejen wrote on 07/14/06 at 2:03 pm :

    I am writing all of these down - awesome awesome.

  30. Andrea wrote on 07/14/06 at 4:16 pm :

    Devil in the White City by Erik Larson…Chicago, the Wold’s Fair, and serial killer. Excellent read. For real. If you like non-fiction.

    Other than that, anything by Neil Gaiman. Anything. Except maybe not Anansi Boys…

  31. ey wrote on 07/14/06 at 8:10 pm :

    Labryinth by Kate Mosse (with an E, as in not the toothpick model); Augusten Burroughs (start with Running with Scissors if possible- he’s sort of like Dave Sedaris, but much bitterer); MaryJanice Davidson for amusing but completly brainless fluff (big type, too; good for the eyeball?); The Fuck-Up (surprisingly uplifting, in that noir kind of way); the Pendergast series by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child; Isolation Ward by Joshua Spanogle; The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon; Suttree by Cormac McCarthy; The Liars’ Club; Absalom, Absalom!; One Deadly Summer by Sebastien Japrisot; The Minotaur by Barbara Vine; The Egyptologist by Arthur Phillips (features pornographic hieroglyphics); The Edible Woman by Margaret Atwood (not her best but possibly her funniest); Look Homeward, Angel; Without Feathers by Woody Allen; Richard Montanari thrillers; The Church of Dead Girls by Stephen Dobyns; Ghosty Men; Broken as Things Are by Martha Witt (Southern goth); Fox Evil by Minette Walters; Ian Rankin’s John Rebus series; Beast in View by Margaret Millar (or any Millar, for that matter); any Raymond Chandler; Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich (if you’re in a nonfiction mood); any Boondocks comic book; Mona in the Promised Land by Gish Jen; Stiff: The Curious Life of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach (this may be hard to believe, but it’s truly hilarious); Operation Shylock by Philip Roth; White Noise by Don DeLillo; The Ghost Writer by John Harwood . . . and other stuff.

    I don’t get out much.

  32. Lomo wrote on 07/15/06 at 1:03 am :

    Pretty much ANYTHING by Jack Whyte. He has an entire series with spin off books which explain the holes in the series. It’s based on Camelot, but it’s a WHOLE different view. They don’t even mention Camelot and start using it to advance the story line until around book 3, if that gives you any indication. While there is a Merlyn, there isn’t yet one person named King Arthur, or at least not at the book I’m at. You NEED to read this man.

  33. Lomo wrote on 07/15/06 at 1:10 am :

    Oh yes, and I definitely second what Stub said. If you’ve ever seen the movie Power Of One (Stephen Dorff) you should read the book, which is by Bryce Courtenay. He has many books out which are set all over the world, focusing mainly on Australia and Africe. Those are definite page turners as well. Oh, and back to what I was saying about Wilbur Smith…although almost all of the books are based in the early 1900s, you don’t really get that feel. A lot of it is fascinating though, and the first time I tried a book of his, I read 3 pages in the book store, bought it, read it the entire time I was walking home, and didn’t make it out with anyone that night as I finished the damn thing. Check him out.

  34. Sally wrote on 07/16/06 at 1:47 pm :

    How To Seduce a Ghost by Hope McIntyre; The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time by Mark Haddon; The Dracula Tape by Fred Saberhagen (the retelling of Bram Stoker’s tale from the other point of view); The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova (beats The Stand by 4 or 5 lbs); Green Rider/ First Rider’s Call by Kristen Britain; Eragon/ Eldest by Christopher Paolini; and besides the fact that you can never read all the Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy series too many times, also check out Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams.
    I heartily recommend that you NOT listen sporadically to the Broadway soundtrack to Wicked before reading the book. I found the echoes of Kristen Chenoweth very chipper and disconcerting all through it, and through Son Of A Witch as well. CURSE the perky blondeness!

  35. zen wrote on 07/16/06 at 11:09 pm :

    laura from canada, i loved the book “cunt” as well and even got my daughter a copy for her 19th birthday, she’s majoring in criminology with a minor in women’s studies and she enjoyed it as well. i liked “wicked” as well and also by the same author “confessions of an ugly stepsister” and ” mirror mirror”. for light reading i enjoyed lorna landvik “angry housewives eating bonbons” and “the oasis at flame lake”. for historical fiction i enjoyed “the queen’s fool” and “the other boleyn girl” by phillippa gregory. another summer read “i am charlotte simmons” by tom wolfe. sometimes i post book reviews on my blog so check me out!…~zen

  36. monkey-king wrote on 07/17/06 at 5:25 am :

    Gee, I dunno, me no likey the books.

    Uh-huh.

    Geek Love is an overrated mystery noir movel with circus freaks. Chicks seem to dig it, though. As you probably know, I have the year-end round-ups where I list seven of the best books I finished, but things that you should read that aren’t on that list are C.D Payne’s Youth in Revolt (Especially before the J-man gets much older), Confederacy of Dunces (John Kennedy Toole), Sirens of Titan (Vonnegut), Songs of the Doomed (Hunter S. Thompson) and Graps of Wrath (If you don’t know who wrote it, you’ll get such a pinch.)

    But again, me no likey the books. Duuuh.

  37. Rumblelizard wrote on 07/17/06 at 8:52 am :

    Just got done reading “The Mists of Avalon,” which I avoided for many many years because it seemed so kooky/hippie/fantasy, but it’s actually a fascinating examination of the Arthurian legend from the womens’ point of view (Morgan La Fey is the protagonist.) I really liked it, and was surprised by how much.

    I’m a huge fan of Neal Stephenson. “The Cryptonomicon” is amazing.

    As others have mentioned, Augusten Burroughs is a lot of fun, but I’d warn you that he qualifies pretty solidly as an unreliable narrator.

    Geek Love actually kind of bothered me and made me feel sick.

    Julian May’s “Golden Torc” series is simply the best and most amazing series of fiction novels I’ve ever read. Can’t recommend it highly enough.

  38. trancejen wrote on 07/17/06 at 12:51 pm :

    Dean, do you think I’ve made it this far with no Grapes of Wrath???

    Come on now. :D

  39. RoseAnn wrote on 07/18/06 at 12:00 am :

    I cant stick through any fiction i like true stories and blogs…there are enough blogs to read til ur eyes fall out…I like to write fiction but not read it, occasionally i will read a romance novel because I am convinced I could write one…til then i will continue to live my soap opera life and wait for Clerks II to arrive in theatres Friday
    I love Jay and Silent Bob…

  40. renee wrote on 07/18/06 at 12:17 pm :

    I’m late to this party but just finished an amazing book last night - “The Book Thief.” I was really sad the story had to end. VERY odd narrator takes some getting used to but it’s an engrossing story.

    I second/third/fourth the recs for “Wicked” “Time Traveler’s Wife” and “Devil in the White City” which everyone in my book club loved. Plus I gotta add one more “The Dive From Clausen’s Pier” by Ann Packer.

  41. Kat wrote on 07/18/06 at 4:35 pm :

    Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is my current personal favorite and recomendation to anyone who will listen! It’s a compelling story about growing up in Afghanistan. Gave me a whole new perspective on a country that, until I read this, I pictured only as the bombed out hiding place of Ossam Bin Laden. (Nothing about him in there, not that kind of story) I read it while sitting idly for two days at jury duty. Was kind of embarrassed at the end of the book, wiping away my copious tears amidst a room full of strangers!

  42. skibigsky wrote on 07/25/06 at 1:49 pm :

    I just finished reading ‘Marley and Me’ about a family and ‘the world’s worst dog’. Very entertaining.

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