Archive for August, 2006
S.N.A.F.U. and To Not Feel Fat.
Thursday, August 31st, 2006Well, the insurance mess has been fixed, which means I will get my correct insurance back…
…October fifth.
So in the meantime, off to the east ghetto I go (one hour away, with no readily available form of transportation save my neighbor, who I’m sure would be thrilled about driving to the east ghetto), cursing and swearing […]
I Am a Real Bastard For Finding This Funny.
Wednesday, August 30th, 2006Our seventeen-year-old cat, Ollie (Oliver North), is having seizures. She has been having them for quite some time.
Rather than feeling some sort kinship with this animal, I am instead unreasonably and inexplicably annoyed by her. She howls morning, noon, and night, and nobody can get her to shut the fuck up.
About a month […]
Fuck You, Medicaid.
Tuesday, August 29th, 2006So here is how I spent my day yesterday: On the phone.
I was supposed to have physical therapy today and on Thursday, and on Wednesday I was supposed to have the big Godalmighty tilt table test that is such a big Godalmighty fucking deal that it took three fucking weeks to schedule - a test […]
PMS is Not a Myth.
Monday, August 28th, 2006I know certain women that get really het up about the idea of PMS. PMS?! Why, we have the God-given right to act like bitches and eat chocolates and throw dishes whenever we please! (Which, of course, is the Gospel truth.) Fuck your PMS!!
“Don’t blame my incessant weeping and bitter stares […]
Hello, Hello, I’m In a Place Called Vertigo.
Sunday, August 27th, 2006What they need to understand is that it isn’t my heart, it’s my head.
They, of course, being these silly doctors.
It’s my head causing these swoops and dips and rapid collisions with the ground (the ones that are non-seizure-related), because I can hear a sort of wind in my ears right before it happens, a harbinger […]
Look Deep Into My Heart - The Photoblog.
Friday, August 25th, 2006‘SUP
YOU MAY NOTICE I AM HALF NAKED
THIS IS BECAUSE IT IS HEART TEST DAY
FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY
FIRST I HAD AN ULTRASOUND OF MY HEAD, WHICH SHOWED […]
Butt Implants.
Thursday, August 24th, 2006So last night I’m flipping channels and I come across an icky plastic surgery show on the Discovery Health Channel. I love icky surgery shows. The ickier the better.
I’m really a weird fuck. I’ll cross the street to avoid having to walk near a dog and I absolutely refuse to watch any […]
Please Don’t Mind Mommy.
Thursday, August 24th, 2006Tomorrow I’m going to take my camera to the hospital and attempt to take pictures during the Heart Test Experience so as to have an interesting photoblog, if I get some cool nurses/doctors who allow it.
So who knows? Tomorrow may be an interesting, Discovery Channel-type peek into the world of medicine!
Or it might just be […]
Buttfest 2006.
Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006So last night I’m watching the TV Guide Channel, face three inches from the screen (TV Guide needs a separate channel for we blind-assed folk), and as the shows scroll past I see a wondrous thing.
Advertised on a Pay-per-View porn channel is:
Buttfest 4.
Now if that isn’t a great name for a porn movie, I don’t […]
Playing Possum.
Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006We had an outdoor light with a photocell installed in our backyard. It goes on at dusk and off at dawn.
The other night I was walking upstairs and I just happened to look out the back door’s window because it looked so bright outside.
Lumbering through my yard was an enormous, fat, possum.
I am talking […]
