Buttfest 2006.
August 23rd, 2006 by Kevin
So last night I’m watching the TV Guide Channel, face three inches from the screen (TV Guide needs a separate channel for we blind-assed folk), and as the shows scroll past I see a wondrous thing.
Advertised on a Pay-per-View porn channel is:
Buttfest 4.
Now if that isn’t a great name for a porn movie, I don’t know what is. Buttfest! A festival of butts! The first three were so much fun, they went for a fourth!
Usually porn names are sort of stupid (I do, after all, watch quite a bit of TV Guide Channel). They have monikers like “Deep Desire”, and “Cum-Soaked Sorority Sluts”, and “Back-Door Asian Chicks, Part Twelve”.
How dull!
Buttfest, though? Now there’s a name I can endorse. It sounds fun!
It almost sounds as if it could be a local carnival or street festival, one of those deals in which several suspicious-looking trailers with unshaven men ride into town and unpack rusty, dangerous-looking rides and women with bleached hair and missing teeth sell plastic bags stuffed full of sticky cotton candy for two bucks. Who wouldn’t want want to go to Buttfest??
At Buttfest, you can win a goldfish if you can launch your butt-shaped ping-pong ball into a small fish bowl, or you can win a nice framed eight-by-ten picture of the band Poison by hitting the paper butt with a dart! It’s a blast, this Buttfest!
Take your sweetheart for a ride on the Ferris Wheel, and then win her a giant stuffed butt by knocking down milk bottles with a baseball!
Dance happily to the strains of Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “I Like Big Butts”, or maybe Cisco’s “Thong Song”.
Buttfest! I love it! Go get Grandma, kids, we’re goin’ to Buttfest!!
Whoo!!
Yeah.
My imagination tends to run awry when the air conditioner isn’t on, kids.
My sincerest apologies.
Happy Wednesday.
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Does this Fest make my butt look big?
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Buttfest, that’s an idea i can get behind.
You should add “Big Bottom” from Spinal Tap to the play list for buttfest 4.
“The bigger the cushion,
the sweeter the pushin’.
How can i leave all this behind?”
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