Please Don’t Mind Mommy.

August 24th, 2006 by Kevin

Tomorrow I’m going to take my camera to the hospital and attempt to take pictures during the Heart Test Experience so as to have an interesting photoblog, if I get some cool nurses/doctors who allow it.

So who knows?  Tomorrow may be an interesting, Discovery Channel-type peek into the world of medicine!

Or it might just be me acting stupid.  You be the judge.

Since I find this whole thing utterly ridiculous, I figured I might as well get a photoblog out of it.

*pretend that there is a horizontal line here, because the horizontal line tag never works in Movable Type.*

I’m deadly tired this week.  I’ve just been lying around and reading, mostly.  Last night it was Pearl Buck’s The Good Earth, which I had never read and enjoyed very much.

I’ll be glad when all my testing is over (neurological and the stupid heart crap) and they find out where these damned seizures are coming from, because lately they’re coming almost every day, leaving me weak and exhausted.  I don’t feel like getting up, even to do laundry.

I don’t feel like doing anything but lying with a heating pad tied around my back and the fan on my face and reading.  it’s a deep sort of bone-tired.

I wish I had more to report.

I will say this:  my neighbors are fantastic people.  Every time I’ve had a seizure when the J-Man has been here alone and the other day when my mom found me passed out on the floor when she was dropping the J-Man off from school, they’ve come over to keep an eye on me, which has just been a Godsend.   I don’t know what I’d do without them.

I had a long talk with the J-Man the other day about how seizures were just temporary and that even though they might look scary, I didn’t want him to ever think I was not going to wake up from one.  He seemed fine about it, but he was very quiet, and I just wish that I could prevent him from seeing all of this.

Bad enough to have only one parent, worse still to have that parent flailing on the floor like a maniac.

He’s a tough kid, but I know it must hurt.  I try to make our time together as fun and as happy as possible because he’s such a good kid, and I want him to be a happy kid as well, not nervous or afraid.

Sometimes it breaks my heart to see him standing there when I wake up, and I want to tell him to just go in the other room and forget he ever saw me seizing.

I know he won’t, though.

Blah.

Happy Thursday.  More levity tomorrow.

159 Responses to “Please Don’t Mind Mommy.”

  1. lisa-marie wrote on 08/24/06 at 11:35 am :

    I don’t know why they wouldn’t let you take pictures; it’s you getting the tests after all. It’s not like you’re asking to photograph someone else’s procedures. It sounds like a great idea for a photo blog!

  2. mish wrote on 08/24/06 at 12:42 pm :

    The Good Earth is one of my favorite books - i read it in a week, while on vacation (the bad part of it). Good luck w/ the picture taking - i equate hospitals w/ jail - no freedom - hate not being able to eat or drink! Good luck w/ diagnosis.

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    I read The Good Earth in junior high school and I loved it so much that I re-read it every few years. I think I am due again. Thanks for the reminder of this wonderful book!!!

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