I Am a Real Bastard For Finding This Funny.

August 30th, 2006 by Kevin

Our seventeen-year-old cat, Ollie (Oliver North), is having seizures. She has been having them for quite some time.

Rather than feeling some sort kinship with this animal, I am instead unreasonably and inexplicably annoyed by her. She howls morning, noon, and night, and nobody can get her to shut the fuck up.

About a month ago, we took her to the vet, who gave her a shot which immediately stopped all seizure activity and quieted her down. This lasted for the entire month. Nothing of consequence happened to this cat during August. She was as calm and as happy as a cat could be.

The vet is apparently one hell of a neurologist.

The miracle shot didn’t last forever, though. Now she’s spazzing out again, falling off of furniture, flipping out on the floor, and, to quote my son, “imitating Mommy”.

This time, I’m going to the fucking vet, too. I want to be normal for a month.
As long as he doesn’t take my temperature.

Happy Wednesday.

101 Responses to “I Am a Real Bastard For Finding This Funny.”

  1. warcrygirl wrote on 08/30/06 at 2:09 pm :

    HAHAHA! Just find out what he used, or get his number and give it to your neurologist. Watch out, it could just be a catnip placebo…

  2. trancejen wrote on 08/30/06 at 2:14 pm :

    I’m already jealous because the cat’s seizures only last about thirty seconds and mine last way longer. The little fucker.

  3. thatgrrrl wrote on 08/30/06 at 2:58 pm :

    Well, she IS significantly smaller (and furrier) than you are, so perhaps if you normalized the seizure duration based on body mass and density of pelt, you’d find that you’re coming out ahead. Just a guess.

  4. dom wrote on 08/30/06 at 3:02 pm :

    of course, I’d be annoyed too if cat’s had little cat versions of all our problems. oh, your little kitty rent-check bounced again? well then, you’re out! oh, your kitty girlfriend needs to take some time? well quit whining, hop up on the washing machine during spin cycle, and get over it! oh and now your cat boss is making you work overtime? well.. wait, is that me? i’m confused by your cat metaphors. now go clean up your kitty litterbox apartment and then bring me a doughnut.

  5. dom wrote on 08/30/06 at 3:07 pm :

    what have i been smoking?

  6. LA wrote on 08/30/06 at 4:02 pm :

    I think you should definitely hit the vet up for good drugs. Works on a cat, might work for you. Never know. ~LA

  7. trancejen wrote on 08/30/06 at 6:11 pm :

    Hey Dom?

    STOP WITH THE CRACK.

    And LA, Ketamine was really popular there for a while. Who knows. :D

  8. Cosmic wrote on 08/30/06 at 6:24 pm :

    With your luck, you’d still get the seizures, but end up with fleas sitting around hocking up furballs.

  9. Kungfukitten wrote on 08/30/06 at 6:47 pm :

    I have a really cute cat ear headband you can wear when you go. What the heck was in that shot? If it was Ketamine you better start going to raves too. I can just see you, smoking cat nip in the bathroom, twisting glow sticks into the shape of mice, rubbing up against DJ Meow-Mix-A-Lot…crap, I think I smoked too much crack with Dom.

  10. trancejen wrote on 08/31/06 at 6:49 am :

    All of you were getting into the catnip yesterday. LOL

  11. mish wrote on 08/31/06 at 12:48 pm :

    i sooo would ask that vet for that shot. worse they could say is no and then you could break down pleading, maybe have a small siezure so they have to give you that shot.

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