Archive for August, 2006
Christian Dress Code Nazis.
Monday, August 21st, 2006Today the J-Man began the third grade, somewhat nervously, after weeks of outraged railing and fist pumping that it was ridiculous for him to have to wear a collared shirt every day, and, worse still, to have to tuck the thing in.
I mean, really, what was wrong with those people at that school, obviously it […]
I Am Here. I Am Still Here.
Thursday, August 17th, 2006This is sort of depressing (what, Jen, depressing? NO!), so feel free to skip it and read the previous, cute and fluffy, entry (what, we have that right? NO!).
The other night I had a seizure, a pretty bad whomper of a seizure, and as I started to come to I heard the panicky […]
What’s In Your Pencil Box?
Thursday, August 17th, 2006I am a total school supply dork. In fact, I would go so far as to say that I enjoy shopping for school supplies even more than I enjoy shopping for clothing (not much of a stretch, as I am six feet tall and this is usually an exercise in futility and/or […]
Alas, Herman, I Knew Him Well.
Wednesday, August 16th, 2006My fear of spiders is well-known and well-documented, but long before I became an incredibly adept swinger of the Swiffer and long before I became tall enough to swat the ceiling with a shoe, I had a tarantula for a pet.
Most people believe that this is nothing short of clinically insane, but I have always […]
The Pain Clinic, Bringing The Pain.
Tuesday, August 15th, 2006I was wrong, I had three appointments yesterday. After going to the damned doctor and the damned dentist and having a damned cavity filled and a chip in my tooth filed and my entired damned face numbed, I realized that oh shit, gots me a pain clinic appointment in fifteen minutes.
My seventy-two-year-old neighbor, who […]
AWWWWW YEAAAAAH, BITCHES!!!
Monday, August 14th, 2006OK OK OK OK OK.
I am so excited I can hardly contain myself.
I have in my little hand, a little piece of paper. It is, in fact, a prescription.
What is this prescription, you say? What is this miracle drug that has me so excited??
My doctor, good woman, wonderful woman that she is, gave me a […]
Step Right Up, Ladies and Gentlemen!
Sunday, August 13th, 2006It’s Have A Crack At Jen Week, in which we will examine all Jen’s internal organs which have absolutely nothing wrong with them, ignoring the one organ that actually is fucked up!!!
Join the neurologist as he sends me for five, count them, five heart tests this week - heart tests that will of course prove […]
The Year is 2000 and I am Tired.
Thursday, August 10th, 2006This is about an incident that transpired shortly after the advent of Fuckbrain.
I am so tired, so tired, so motherfuckingtired, why am I so tired? I can’t stand it, this tiredness, it settles over my body like a thick layer of soot that will not wash off. This tired is caffeine-resistant, sleep-resistant. […]
I’m Going To Burst A Blood Vessel.
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006And yes, this is more medical crap - in fact, why don’t we just change the name of this fucking journal to Not Just Your Garden-Variety FUCKED-UP PILE OF FUCKED-UP FUCKING BRAIN CELLS - but LORD GOD am I pissed, and although I should not be surprised by ANYTHING ANY doctor does, the man threw […]
On Going To The Neurologist, AKA Ode To The Air Up There.
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006dear neurologist
kindly do not make me wait for forty-five minutes with the old people
who stare as if I am in the wrong office
too young to be a victim of shaky leg or brain drain.
also, please listen without staring at your clipboard
because I do have a face.
that clipboard has not provided any miracles thus far
and I […]
