Jen’s Kid Eats Clorox.
September 27th, 2006 by Kevin
I have to admit that I don’t quite get the recent upswing in childproofing.
I saw some chick with an overloaded cart recently when I was in line at the pharmacy, and she was buying about a hundred bucks worth of cabinet locks and table corner pads and stove knob covers and what have you.
I think it’s primarily bullshit, and that a lot of people are making a lot of money off of a lot of plastic crap.
I didn’t childproof jack shit when the J-Man was small. I instead taught him the meaning of the word “no”.
(I’m not trying to come across as some sort of holier-than-thou super-parent, here. Bear with me for a second.)
It was somewhat exhausting keeping an eye on him every second and constantly repeating “No”, “don’t”, “put it down”, and “stop” and making sure he didn’t crack his little melon open as he became mobile and learned to crawl and walk, but you know what? He learned pretty damned quickly what was off limits and what wasn’t, because contrary to popular belief, babies are not completely dense.
They do listen. They can learn. Many of them can be quite manipulative. All of them can follow directions, assuming we’re not talking about a severely disabled child.
Now baby gates I can understand. It’s hard to catch a running toddler who’s heading for stairs, and a person simply might not be fast enough to grab the kid before he takes a header.
All this other junk, though? To me it just seems like a bunch of stuff that we can buy in order to avoid having to tell our kids “no”. You don’t have to tell little Jimmy to stay out of the cabinet under the sink when that cabinet is locked. Less work for you, less crying fits from Jimmy.
However, generations of children have survived without table corner pads and stove knob covers and drawer locks, and I am quite confident in this generation to be able to do so as well. It’s a matter of parents taking the time out to watch and teach their children.
This might earn me some flames, but think about it. Did your mother pad and babyproof every available surface when you were a wee tot? I doubt it, and yet here you are, head intact, obviously able to use a computer and e’rrything.
I feel the same way about the damned knee pads and elbow pads and practically having to swathe one’s child in a padded sumo suit before you can send them out on roller skates.
You skate, you fall, you get back up, and you try again. You skin your knee, you get over it. Life goes on. The world continues to spin on its axis.
One can argue for safety, and sure, safety is a good thing, but think about the flip side:
We’re raising a generation of incredibly wussy children who are growing up expecting life to be soft, padded, boo-boo-less, and cushioned, and I think in doing so we’re doing them a great disservice.
I already see a trend in my son’s peers - the total inability to accept failure, losing a game, falling down, or even getting a bad grade. These kids are used to everything being tailored to cushion any blow they might ever face, physically or emotionally, and when something happens they aren’t equipped to handle it. They flip out.
It’s not the fault of the kids. It’s the fact that they’ve never had to deal with so much as a skinned knee or a bump on the head or even - especially - being told “no” firmly.
We’re babyproofing their entire worlds, and damned if a lot of them aren’t turning into spoiled-ass entitled brats.
My kid has gotten by me a couple of times. He jammed a bead up his nose once. He got the chewable Tylenol (but thankfully, blessedly, read the damned box and only took two).
My mom thinks I’m tough on him. Maybe I am. All I know is that I love him more than life itself, but at the same time, I don’t want him to think that the world is ever going to kiss his ass, because it isn’t.
I’m trying to raise a man.
Happy Wednesday.
Kathy wrote on 09/27/06 at 12:03 pm :
I did the same with my kids and so far they have lived to 11 and 14. Yes they have done stupid things and gotten scrapes and bruises but generally they learn it was stupid and only do it once. Life is hard and I figure they are better off learning that while they are still at home and young enough not to be too devestated by it.
harriet wrote on 09/27/06 at 12:26 pm :
Agreed. I’d rather teach my kid to be sensible than let him think everything’s safe. Also, the one and only time he ever choked on anything as a baby was when he pried one of those plastic plug covers out of an outlet and stuck it in his mouth. So much for childproofing.
dom wrote on 09/27/06 at 12:35 pm :
i hear ya. when i was young, i knew the word No very well. i knew what it meant for me if i didn’t respect it. and i only learned through first-hand experience. nowadays, telling a kid “no” usually garners snickers and defiance.
you wont get any flames today. everyone knows you’re right. but it’s painful and takes work to discipline and most people are too lazy to be a good parent.
Meshugga wrote on 09/27/06 at 1:15 pm :
Hear hear! I remember horsing around in the family room once and bashing my head on the corner of the coffee table and getting a fairly deep wound. I’d been told not to horse around and now I was paying the price for not listening. And when the doctor at the hospital had to drop a few stitches in it, he tsk’ed at me and told me I should have listened to my parents (instead of instantly assuming my folks were horrible and I was living in an unsafe environment).
My brother is a senior in high school and a lot of his classmates are showing signs of having been coddled both physically and emotionally all their lives. They can’t handle anything without their parents being there to soften the blows. It’s just incredible how totally un-self-sufficient a lot of these kids are nowadays. Not to mention that when they do get told “no”, they get all whiny and insolent. Great. One of these kids is going to end up being my boss one day and I’m gonna hafta choke a bitch.
me wrote on 09/27/06 at 1:18 pm :
I was talking about this subject with a friend the other day. Back in the day my mama didn’t use any of that stuff, no outlet covers, no baby-gates (but thank God for them), no stove locks, nothing. She didn’t need to because when she told my ass not to touch a stove because it would burn, I believed her. If she said “no” it meant “no”. If I stuck my finger in the socket, I got the shock and knew better the next time. I didn’t wear helmets, knee pads or elbow pads and I lived to see the next day.
Two words. Home train.
LA wrote on 09/27/06 at 2:11 pm :
A-fucking-men, Sister. I’m not about to raise bubble-headed ninny children. Alex made it to 21 so far and I consider him a mostly able grown person. His friends are all shocked by the stuff Alex can do. Sew a button. Register a car. Keep his checking account in the black. Sheesh. Trust me, once they outgrow the cabinet locks the parents are still there keeping their precious safe from any kind of thinking or personal responsibility. Blech. ~LA
Carrie wrote on 09/27/06 at 4:18 pm :
I used socket covers due to a childhood trauma involving a fork and those tempting little slits in the wall that are perfectly fork prong sized - but we didn’t childproof anything else, really. I figg’erd I done gave birth to ‘im… I might as well teach ‘im what he should and shouldn’t go touchin’. *sigh* Both kids are alive and well despite not being padded through their toddler years and VERY aware of the fact that I will very completely tan their collective hides to a nice shade of ruby if they dare touch the medicine cabinet. I kid. (not really)
marymuses wrote on 09/27/06 at 5:02 pm :
I agree wholeheartedly. I’m a nanny, and I much prefer teaching kids to respect limits and allowing them to make some mistakes as opposed to protecting kids from every little thing via childproofing or fixing every little thing that goes wrong or might possibly go wrong. I’ve found that kids are happier and more well-adjusted overall if they are allowed to make mistakes and get normal childhood injuries. That way they learn the art of being able to deal with life.
Allyson wrote on 09/27/06 at 6:19 pm :
Preachin’ to the choir! I have been complaining about this ever since they took down my 10′ metal straight slide, and put up a plastic spiral one in its place. The world is too damn soft on kids. They need to learn the facts of life - it’s hard, it hurts, and it keeps going on, anyway. My mom always used to tell me when I got a boo-boo that it would be better before I got married, so I shouldn’t worry about it. That lesson (that life goes on even through and after the pain), which helped me cope with all sorts of heartache, is what we’re taking away from our children by padding their youth.
Of course, now I work in a children’s orthopedic hospital, and I see kids with spinal cord injuries every day. And it’s hard to keep on with my firm belief to let my son get hurt, so he can get used to real life. It’s hard to keep the balance of wanting to protect your child from doing permenant damage, and wanting him to grow up to be a man with good self-esteem, and a positive attitude. Hard, but not as hard as watching him grow up to be a wuss.
Thank you for putting this into words. I’m not nearly as crafty with the English language, but it’s nice to know that despite the growing craziness in the world, there are people who agree with me.
Jer wrote on 09/27/06 at 6:54 pm :
I don’t have children but I totally agree with you. I don’t even think they MADE socket covers when I was a kid, lead paint, sure, socket covers, I’m guessing no.
As a former teacher, many parents coddle their kids far too long and then just can’t understand why the kids get arrested, etc etc.
Raising a BUNCH of PANSIES!
RDC wrote on 09/27/06 at 7:33 pm :
I take great pleasure in watching the influx of shows aimed at parents and how to cope with their screaming, entitled bratty kids. Why the pleasure? Because I get to yell at the TV is why. Husband thinks I’m mad, but watching the brainwashed fools try to coax Blaise or Dakota or Makenzie or whatever out of the candy aisle with carefully measured tones that barely hide their near-breakdowns validates me so much as a parent. I dont need your steenkin new-wave, child-psychin’, mollycoddlin’ “expert” - I have somehow managed to instill into my wee ones RESPECT for mah AUTHORITAH! Um, yeah, and a sense of non-padded wariness for dangerous things.
z. wrote on 09/27/06 at 10:06 pm :
He read the label? That’s awesome! I love him
Nightowl wrote on 09/27/06 at 11:10 pm :
My mom’s motto?
Let the pain remind you not do that again!
Nightowl wrote on 09/27/06 at 11:11 pm :
My mom’s motto?
Let the pain remind you not to do that again!
Calynda wrote on 09/28/06 at 8:05 am :
Heh … When I was trying to rollerskate for the first time, I wasn’t really worried about my knees or elbows … I strapped a pillow to my ass.
Erica wrote on 09/28/06 at 11:51 am :
I’m sure that we had baby gates at some point but I still took a number of headers down the steps when I was a kid. I seem to recall thinking that was hilarious but I obviously didn’t hurt myself too much. If I was old enough to remember it, then I probably was too old for a baby gate to work anyway.
We had outlet covers because one of us kept putting our fingers in the socket when Mom wasn’t looking. I think we had those plastic covers on the edge of our bed frames too because those things were sharp as hell.
My knees and elbows are plenty skinned up from learning how to ride a bike and general playtime injuries. My mom was wicked with the hydrogen peroxide too, so that just doubled the pain. We grew up in an area where it was safe to lock the kids outside on a weekend day and not let them in until meal times. She could see us from the window and probably watched us more than we thought she did, but we spent many hours entertaining ourselves by climbing trees, building forts, etc.
Helmets are about the only protective equipment that I could see adding to the mix now.
ChicagoJo wrote on 09/28/06 at 12:44 pm :
Amen!
Bozoette Mary wrote on 09/28/06 at 12:59 pm :
Amen and hallelujah! For years, my niece thought that knives were called “sharps” — she’d help set the table and say she was getting the fork, spoon, and sharp. She never cut herself either!
Ginger wrote on 09/28/06 at 4:20 pm :
I’m SO glad I read this! I’m in the very process of trying to figure out what we’re going to do with the whole “babyproofing” thing at home since my son has just started crawling and pulling up. I’m glad you put into words what my brain has been trying to put together since his first crawl last Friday. He’s just going to have to learn the word ‘no’ and although it will be as scary as shit to not turn the living room into a padded sanctuary, I know we’ll both be okay if I do what most parents don’t these days - pay attention.
Pam wrote on 09/28/06 at 6:14 pm :
LMAO, I pad myeslf up like fucking crazy when I go out rollerblading. That shit is dangerous! But no, I learned like every other kid and stuff wasn’t childproofed in my house. I even split my head open once and had to get stitches. Terrifying for my mom I imagine when I came to her with my head bleeding, but I never did climb up on the china cabinet ever again
golfwidow wrote on 09/29/06 at 9:55 am :
I am kidless. But I WAS a kid once. We had caps on the outlets and that was pretty much it.
We were allowed into all the cabinets we could actually reach. I rode my bike in jeans and if I lost at a contest, I could try harder next time, and “no” meant “no.” If the Mom said, “Hot,” and I touched it anyway, well, I’d never do THAT again, would I?
Michele wrote on 09/29/06 at 10:28 am :
And here I thought I was the only one! Baby gates are a must if you have steps, our outlets are out in the open and at perfect kids hieght so they’re covered, and I confess I did (and still do) pad the corners of the fireplace. But the boy still jumps on the bed, I don’t have a fence around my fireplace, the girl jump off the bed into pillows and while they wear helmets, knee pads etc are strickly optional (and most often ignored). It drives my mother nuts
Gwensarah wrote on 09/29/06 at 7:26 pm :
You get a “hell yeah” for this one. I feel the same way. Another thing is it seems to me that everything is disposable. My 10 year old nephew once said “well if it breaks I’ll just get another one anyway” and that if little Jimmy doesn’t like something well then he doesn’t have to do it. Whim is law and no one is learning any responsibility. It’s why people don’t think twice about cheating or walking out on kids anymore. I know one thing, in addition to peeing IN the toilet not it’s surrounding environs, putting the seat down, opening doors for older people and women, cleaning his room, not acting like a wild monkey heathen, being respectful and the usual Practices In Being A Decent And Well Raised Boy..Rymer understands the meaning of keeping a promise and being responsible for his actions. It’s not being hard on him..it’s raising a man who isn’t going to be the next generation of Shits. Kids like him and J-Man most likely aren’t going to grow up to have a slew of baby mamas and an arrest record because they know even at this age that for every action there’s a resulting reaction whether it be good or bad and you have to step up and deal with it.
Maile wrote on 09/29/06 at 11:22 pm :
thank god there are still parents out there who are actually RAISING their kids instead of just setting them in front of the tv and giving them anything they want cause it’s less painful to cater to their every whim rather than listen to them cry and tell you they hate you. i don’t have kids yet, but i work with kids and i see that sloppy parenting at work. hell my mom was a sloppy parent. but she wasn’t sloppy with me, the oldest. thanks for the great post!
j-cat wrote on 10/2/06 at 3:16 pm :
My mom always brags to others that my sister and I were the type of kids that just never got into anything and that she never had to put anything up. I have a feeling that this is due more to her teaching us what to and what not to get into before it became a problem. One of her biggest pet peeves now is when she sees people’s children that are nosey in other people’s houses where they are guest. She taught us our manners and respect.
SB wrote on 10/6/06 at 3:42 pm :
I remember jamming a pipe cleaner into a wall socket when I was a kid. I’ve not done it since.
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