I’m Even Declawed.
October 22nd, 2006 by Kevin
It’s amazing to me how much these drugs really do affect me mentally and emotionally. I never really realize how zonked or amped I am until I’m off the crap for a while.
I’ve been on the cardiac speed for about a month and a half, I think, and I really have been juiced - nervous and twitchy and hyper and just touchy and tweaky. Not my normal, laid-back self. Now that I’ve been off the stuff for a few days I feel so relieved, like I can finally relax again.
God, it’s nice. For weeks I’ve felt as if I’ve had some strange worry hanging over my head that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, and I guess it was just the speedy feeling of the drug, much like being way too over-caffeinated or being on coke.
I hate feeling anxious. Usually the only thing that gets me really anxious is food, and anything else leaves me unscathed. I’m pretty fucking calm most of the time. It takes a lot to piss me off or get me freaked out, and feeling antsy and all tweaky has been completely unpleasant. I really feel for those who deal with that sort of anxiety daily, because it must truly suck.
Of course, my blood pressure is dropping right along with my tweakiness, but I guess one has to take the bad with the good. I’m tired, but it’s a nice, mellow tired.
For now, I can just lie in bed and listen to Massive Attack on the iPod and just chill, and it’s very nice indeed.
All I’ve done this entire weekend is lie around, sleep, watch really bad horror movies on the Sci-Fi channel (which is fast becoming an addiction of mine), jack into the iPod, and read.
I should have been a cat. Take me home, pet me, and let me lie around on the bed and sleep.
Happy Sunday Night. Meow.
Loob wrote on 10/22/06 at 8:46 pm :
I love the Sci-Fi channel! Do they still show Mystery Science Theater 3000 there? I love bad horror movies, but I REALLY love my bad horror movies to be heckled by robots.
Glad your taking a load off and feeling much better. 
trancejen wrote on 10/22/06 at 10:01 pm :
Oh man, that was one of my most favorite shows EVAR. Awesome.
Loob wrote on 10/22/06 at 10:57 pm :
Best ever episode: Time-Travel Plane! (That’s what I call it. Actual title: Time Chasers.)
“Ohh, two different plaids?! I’m a naked robot and even I know that’s a fashion no-no.”
“I left my keys at the Manchu Wok of the future!”
thatgrrrl wrote on 10/23/06 at 4:22 am :
MST3K rocked! It’s become part of our standard lexicon, we mystify things (commercials, bad tv shows, even conversations with real humans occasionally). I think I even became a member of their fan club briefly.
Allyson wrote on 10/24/06 at 8:29 am :
Hell yeah! MST3K is freaking great. Time Chasers was the first episode I ever saw, and remained my favorite until I saw Touch of Evil, “This is where the fish lives.” Great!
I now feel like I have too much to say on the subject… stop by my blog, later (as in tomorrow, I’m busy today) if you want to hear more. (shameless plug)
Loob wrote on 10/25/06 at 8:57 pm :
Ohmygod I loved Touch of Evil!! LOL
“David Spade as Satan. That’s good casting, anyway.”