Trancejen

All Systems Stop.

I had a nice, long stretch of vertical bliss for a while there - no passing out, few back problems, and generally pretty fair health as far I’m concerned; but Thursday set off some sort of shitstorm that has left me feeling like a massive hurricane is raging within my head.
The dizzy spells come fast […]

Posted in Fuckbrain, Heartfuck | 141 Comments »

Headspace.

One of my problems (and isn’t it all about my fucking problems?) is a serious lack of the ability to calm the fuck down.
My mind is usually going a hundred miles per minute, and sometimes it just gets to be overwhelming. I am inundated with messages from my brain, I am generally in some […]

Posted in Food, and Eating It, I Am Stupid | 47 Comments »

Light My Fire, Damn It.

You know that brand-new furnace I just paid an exorbitant amount of money for last month?
It’s not fucking working.
I am currently bundled into two pairs of Old Navy flannel pajama pants and two Notre Dame sweatshirts, shivering in my chair in spite of the space heater and cursing the damned furnace makers and all of […]

Posted in GRAAAAH, Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

Not Just Your Garden-Variety Mini-Smartass.

My child is fast becoming a serious smartass, and I need to do something about it.
It is a natural thing that a smartass should beget a smartass, and since there have been many, many generations of smartasses in my family, the level of smartassery in my household is near-toxic. Still, I am prone to […]

Posted in The J-Man | 64 Comments »

Weekend Updatery.

Since I have been off of most of the Topamax, I feel like a new woman. I’m not half as tired, and although I still get dizzy a lot, I haven’t passed out in about a week. Apparently the cardiologist was on the right track.
Color me thrilled. Hopefully soon my head will […]

Posted in I Am Stupid | 36 Comments »

Sure. Right.

Top Ten Big Fat Lying Lies Children Tell
1. I was just about to flush the toilet.
2. I totally brushed my teeth for two minutes!
3. I don’t know why ____ is mad at me.
4. But I’m full.
5. I’m not tired.
6. Two more minutes and I’ll be done/ready/have my pajamas on/inside/finish cleaning up.
7. I didn’t know.
8. I […]

Posted in The J-Man | 111 Comments »

Country Grammar.

I just typed an e-mail to some friends and actually used the phrase “might should”. As in, “I might should get back early.”I studied English at a major university for three and a half years. Apparently professors teach all of the important things during the last half of one’s last year. Either […]

Posted in I Am Stupid | 51 Comments »

Beep Beep Boop.

Can someone explain to me the point of the modern video game?Against my better judgment I allowed my father to purchase a Playstation 2 for the J-Man last Christmas. I have found that, if left to his own devices (which he is not), the child would sit in front of the thing and drool […]

Posted in The J-Man | 24 Comments »

Dope Man.

“Hey Mr. Dope Man, you think you’re slick,
You sold crack to my sister, and now she’s sick,
If she happens to die because of your drug,
I’m putting in your culo, a .38 slug.
- “Dope Man”, NWA

There’s a small dope house kitty-corner from Chez Trance. I’m assuming it’s not a crack house because the folks going […]

Posted in Neighbors | 117 Comments »

Maturity.

I wonder if it reflects badly on my maturity level that the first thing that pops into my head upon hearing “Doctor will call you as soon as he gets in,” is, “Yeah, and monkeys might fly out of my butt.”
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Posted in I Am Stupid | 6 Comments »