I Got Me Some Keith Richards Arms.
December 5th, 2006 by Kevin
I am finally home, after much needle-sticking and MRI-ing and ass-sitting; with new heart medication.
In a nutshell: My heart rate is way, way too high; and my blood pressure is way, way too low. Both are now being taken care of.
I have not smoked a cigarette or eaten any salt in eight and a half days. Although it is terrible and although this is probably a wonderful opportunity to quit all of the following things (and I will be scaling down drastically, mind you), I intend to go have a Diet Coke, a cigarette, and something fucking loaded with salt and saturated fat right goddamned now.
I have to have something. I can’t just have nothing.
Happy Tuesday.
Laughing Muse wrote on 12/5/06 at 11:38 am :
Oi! She’s back! Glad to hear you’re back, and doing a little better.
McDonald’s fries…go have some of those. Good stuff. (Though maybe *too* loaded with saturated fats and salt for you? I don’t know.) Hope your new medication works well!
golfwidow wrote on 12/5/06 at 12:03 pm :
Well, you SOUND like yourself, anyway.
Loob wrote on 12/5/06 at 12:16 pm :
Yay!!
Only about the being back, not about the lack of salty goodness.
Yes, I concur with the suggestion of french fries!
Lola wrote on 12/5/06 at 12:55 pm :
Hey Lady, glad to hear you are doing better.
Oh, and let me know if my last email worked.
Later,
Lola
Kourtney wrote on 12/5/06 at 1:36 pm :
Very glad you are back and on the mend. Have some chips & salsa…and an extra cigarette for me, because it has been a long 2 years, 3 months, and 17 days.
Bozoette Mary wrote on 12/5/06 at 1:45 pm :
I’m SO GLAD you’re back — have some nice salty fries and a Diet Coke on me!
Kungfukitten wrote on 12/5/06 at 1:55 pm :
I’m glad you’re back. I was worried about you - isn’t it funny how we get attatched to our internet friends? So do they have an official diagnosis for what you have or are they just calling it something like tachycardia and low blood pressure? I read somewhere that drinking lots of fluids can help with low blood pressure but you’ve probably been told that a hundred times. Welcome back, Jen!
lisa-marie wrote on 12/5/06 at 2:33 pm :
Glad to have you back!! I’ve missed you!
mish wrote on 12/5/06 at 2:45 pm :
NICE how you have some good knowledge and treatment. Unbeleivabe how damn long it took.
John in Phoenix wrote on 12/5/06 at 2:50 pm :
Oh happy day the Divine Ms. Jen has returned to the land of Salt and Smoke ! We are all so glad to have you back and hopefully on the mend Jennifahr - we really missed you. Let’s all cross our fingers and eyes that this new heart medication will do the trick and keep you moving forward and not make you fall down go boom.
Kisses lady !
- John in Phoenix
Amanda wrote on 12/5/06 at 3:30 pm :
I am glad you are feeling better.
Anne wrote on 12/5/06 at 3:42 pm :
Girl, the relief is palpable here!! So good to have you back. If it were warm, I’d suggest elephant ears. Ummmm fried dough with cinnamon and powdered sugar…mmmmm And a side of fries! I’ll, uh skip the Diet, and have a regular Coke, but hold a spot on the steps. Lemme get my coat, and we can have smoke.
dom wrote on 12/5/06 at 4:01 pm :
glad to hear from you!
Kari wrote on 12/5/06 at 5:04 pm :
Very glad to hear that things are good Jen! I’ll have to let Steve know to hold off on that Atari/ice machine combo we’ve been planning for a Christmas gift for you.
Vix Smackey wrote on 12/5/06 at 5:42 pm :
YAY! She’s home…
dataslave wrote on 12/5/06 at 6:30 pm :
PIZZA!!!!!! Ham, pepperoni, extra anchovies. That much salt will make the top of your head pop off.
Nikki wrote on 12/5/06 at 8:02 pm :
Yay!! Glad to see you back.
LA wrote on 12/5/06 at 8:46 pm :
Whew! Love you, ~LA
carl wrote on 12/5/06 at 10:28 pm :
Welcome home!!! Now lets get back to…fucking this and fucking that! LOL just aven fun widja!
Jen the ex Radiator Lady wrote on 12/5/06 at 11:58 pm :
Good to see you back. Your right-hand list of shit is still invisible to me on your main page. Instead of eating something that might make you feel worse, and/or smoking something that is DEFINITELY worse, why don’t you go ahead and fix that for me? We both know that all Jens think they’re the only ones that count, after all. Or maybe that’s all Leos? Either way, do what I say.
thatgrrrl wrote on 12/6/06 at 5:19 am :
YAY!!! I’m so glad you’re back and safe.
Dee wrote on 12/6/06 at 8:06 am :
Missed you. Glad you are back with us. My morning was vastly improved seeing a new post from you today.
I second the McDs fries suggestion, nothing like that salty goodness.
J wrote on 12/6/06 at 8:19 am :
YAY! Aaannnddd… exhale… whew.
Soo glad that you’re out of the hospital, and maybe now they can get on with getting to the bottom of all this. *Crosses fingers*
(And I agree with dataslave above. Pizza has also been known to cause puppies and kittens and baby ducks to all cuddle together in front of cameras. Its true. I read about it in Newsweek.)
J
Alex wrote on 12/6/06 at 9:31 am :
Glad to see you’re back… get better…
trancejen wrote on 12/6/06 at 10:16 am :
Jen, what browser are you using? I don’t know how to fix it if I don’t know why it’s doing that, and currently I can’t figure out why it would be, because I’m checking it in different browsers and it isn’t doing that?
trancejen wrote on 12/6/06 at 10:17 am :
Also, where is your site now? I need to fix my link and catch up!
michael wrote on 12/6/06 at 10:28 am :
Glad to see you back! Was worried I was going to have to drive to Chicago and kick some Dr. ass on your behalf. Enjoy your salty diet coke cigarette.
Amy wrote on 12/6/06 at 10:38 am :
Yay! You are back! I was so worried about you that I wrote to Weet to see if she knew anything. I’m so glad you are OK. I don’t even know you and I was so very worried about you. Hope all is well.
Kevin wrote on 12/6/06 at 11:02 am :
Good to have you back!
Melinda wrote on 12/6/06 at 11:15 am :
Glad to hear you’re home again…and glad to see that they didn’t affect your sense of humor.
Meshugga wrote on 12/6/06 at 6:15 pm :
Woo! Glad to see you back and doing well. At least the phlebotomist managed to not suck out your sense of humor along with the twelve pints of blood.
Kate wrote on 12/6/06 at 9:57 pm :
Welcome back