Archive for January, 2007
My Future Wife.
Saturday, January 27th, 2007Dear Internet,
Lately I have been receiving a rash of spam advertising Russian mail-order brides.
This in itself is probably not very noteworthy. I’m sure that many of my blogging peers receive the same offers.
Apparently these women are hard to get rid of. Given the mentality of most of the men I’ve met during the last ten […]
Wake Me When It’s February.
Friday, January 26th, 2007This has been Suck Week for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I was just told I need to consult with a surgeon right before having a needle jammed into my spine.
It makes no fucking sense to me to get surgery when I’m just going to fall and […]
Logik.
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007You know you may not be the sharpest tack in the box when you find yourself snarling, “I don’t care if my hair rots off of my head, I am leaving this shit (color) on until it works!”
Bullshit and I were recently discussing a scene from Total Recall in which a woman simply tapped her […]
My Outer Adult Wants My Inner Child To Fucking Grow Up.
Monday, January 22nd, 2007I just got back from the therapist (which is always such a promising start to a journal entry, no?), who maintains that the reason I have food problems is that I eat to piss off my parents, who don’t like it when I eat, because they didn’t show me enough love.
I also don’t eat to […]
A Magical Winter Wonderland… Full of Phlegm.
Monday, January 22nd, 2007The ground is covered with snow, and my kid was actually outside yesterday playing in the stuff thanks to a new neighbor kid named Stanley. The new kid has not yet learned that kids in this neighborhood eschew the outdoors as if they all were little vampires, and I’m glad.
I am filled with phlegm. I […]
This Must Be A Disease.
Friday, January 19th, 2007Can someone please explain to me why I always wind up getting the (sick, pathological, completely ridiculous) urge to dye my (completely healthy, perfectly normal-looking, absolutely acceptable) hair a drastic color that is always, ALWAYS at the opposite end of the spectrum from the place I happen to be at the time?
Black to blonde.
Blonde to […]
The EEG Photoblog.
Friday, January 19th, 2007‘SUP YOU MAY NOTICE THAT I LOOK LIKE POOP THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S NO-MAKEUP EEG DAY US WHITE FOLKS WEREN’T CUT OUT FOR THIS NO MAKEUP SHIT GOT ALL HOOKED UP TO STUFF PLUS SOME LOVELY HOSPITAL COUTURE AND GOT MY HEAD ALL WIRED (NOT FUN LIKE IT SOUNDS) TOLD MY KID THAT HE IS CORRECT […]
On Primitive Living Conditions.
Thursday, January 18th, 2007I am home from the hospital.
There will be a photoblog tomorrow, but for now I will say this: I had to pee in a bucket that was placed in a chair while on camera for two and a half days.
I don’t know what about that statement horrifies me most.
Happy Thursday. I’m going to […]
I’m So Cool I Bring Cool With Me On Vacation.
Monday, January 15th, 2007Arizona was lovely and relaxing, albeit cold. It actually got down to the forties when we were there, shattering my image of Arizona as neverending-ninety-degree paradise and making me feel a little stupid for packing all those tank tops, but causing me to feel a little less whiny about Chicago weather.
It’s not so bad […]
Boobies! But Not Mine! Yay!
Sunday, January 7th, 2007Last night Bullshit and I went to a very excellent burlesque show that was a benefit for TPAN. Good, good times, my friends. If you are ever in the area and have the opportunity to see this excellent show, I highly recommend it.
I love me some burlesque.
Also, if you are anywhere within driving, train, or […]
