If You Sleep Through It, it Isn’t There.
May 24th, 2007 by Kevin
I just slept for fifteen - count them, fifteen - hours after falling flat on my face and passing out in a pool of slobber for three hours yesterday afternoon. A nasty bruise is just starting to come forth, and I feel as if I’ve been whopped upside the head with an aluminum bat.
Is this not the most footloose and fancy-free, happy-go-lucky, motherfucking blog you’ve ever read?
If not, you get a full refund.
Tonight I think I’m going to go for sixteen hours of sleep after I spend several hours designing a new tattoo. It’s become my raison d’être, this tattoo drawing. I am enjoying it immensely.
I will probably never actually decide between the two designs - one being a “tribal” sort of phoenix and one being a nifty little bunch of Japanese foliage based upon some Photoshop brushes I took a shine to some time ago - but the drawing is at least keeping me busy and keeping my head out of the proverbial oven.
I have long been sitting on some savings bonds and have earmarked a small part of them as a tattoo fund. Perhaps I will eventually make a decision and go under the needle.
I have also ordered four pairs of shoes off of the intarweb, which is, to say the very least, exorbitantly excessive. This has exceeded the total amount I have spent on clothing in the past two years - I shit you not. One pair of very stylish suede Adidas, one pair of Converse Chuck Taylors with a Sailor Jerry motif, one pair of ballet slippers (which I highly recommend for leisure, but they must be actual ballet slippers and not those pseudo-ballet slippers), and one pair of ballet slippers for the moms.
I almost went for another pair of Adidas in red, but then rightfully concluded that it would be slightly ridiculous to keep buying shoes when I so very rarely exit the front door.
Not that my kid doesn’t appreciate a good pair of shoes, mind you.
Over the weekend I went to a death-themed party on the north side that a friend of Bullshit’s and mine threw for someone graduating mortuary school. It featured a large wooden coffin that held the evening’s libations, a brain-shaped Jello mold surrounded by candy worms, coroner shirts, and copious amounts of funeral stickers, some stuck to people’s butts. It was a rocking good time. I did not expect to have a rocking good time, but I did.
Perhaps the new medication is starting to work. Or perhaps I just really, really needed a change of scenery. I vote for the latter.
The other night I went out to the karaoke bar for a bit and was very happy to see my friends, but that was a less successful venture as I felt like hammered shit later and the next morning.
In other news, I am thinking about taking an online college course or two. I’m not sure what to look into, but I’m going to check out a few catalogs. I am also going to look into some regular physical therapy so that I can get some exercise and get my spine worked on without the fear of falling down. I think it would go a long way toward helping the Evil Feeling of Crapitude.
I gained forty pounds during the last two months - yes, forty, I am not shitting you - and I am well aware that the weight gain due to my inactivity/eating like a sow has contributed mightily to my depression. Falling down or not, I am determined to get some sort of exercise.
That’s about it, really. I appreciate the e-mails, comments, etc. I sincerely appreciate Lola stopping by my house with all the books, which was thoughtful and awesome on a truly grand scale.
I’m hangin’ in there. Often times I haven’t wanted to, and I won’t lie and tell you I’ve been a smiling little ray of sunshine, but I am still here.
Happy Thursday.
lilacorchid wrote on 05/24/07 at 3:37 pm :
The intarwebs love you.
Nightowl wrote on 05/24/07 at 4:34 pm :
It might be the meds, it might be the change of scenery, or it might be that you are so fucking bored at home that depression is in evitable (screw spelling). Some classes and a physical therapy might help and get you out of the house.
Amanda wrote on 05/24/07 at 6:43 pm :
Jen,
I am happy to see you are hanging in. I’m trying to send some positive energy your way in hope it may bounce back a little. Karma and all…
Laurathelive wrote on 05/24/07 at 8:42 pm :
Yay!!! I’ve been silently pulling for you. You deserve happiness, Jen. Seriously. And if retail therapy gets you on your way there, why the hell not?! It always does my sould good!
I’ve been, uh, avoiding taking care of myself for quite some time now. But last week I decided enough was enough and I enrolled in aquafitness (it is offered a local pool every day of the week–so there are no excuses)–also, it is not the high impact crazy extreme variety. What I’m trying to say (sheesh) is that it might be a safe (and economical) alternative exercise program. Because if you stumble in the water no one knows but you! And for someone as out of shape as I am (and I REALLY am) I don’t dread it…it’s actually kinda fun.
Regardless, I am just happy to be reading your blog! And good luck with the course/tatoo selection process!
Okay, I’m taking me and my insane use of exclamation points to bed.
Cheers,
Laura
P.S. You need to check out Feist, The Bird and The Bee and Serena Ryder–you might find a song or two to bring a smile to your face!
clahnamom wrote on 05/25/07 at 5:43 am :
And I for one am very glad that you are.
It’s good to hear that you’ve had some good times lately…even if you end up paying for it later.
Many, many intarweb hugs to you.
Bozoette Mary wrote on 05/25/07 at 7:00 am :
I’m so glad you’re still here.
golfwidow wrote on 05/25/07 at 7:33 am :
Go you.
lisa-marie wrote on 05/25/07 at 5:23 pm :
The online college classes sound like a great idea! Go for it!
Anonymous wrote on 05/26/07 at 4:50 pm :
Yay! Jen’s still here
Anonymous wrote on 06/1/07 at 12:57 pm :
You should check out MIT’s OpenCourseWare programs. They’re free PDFs (for the most part) of a whole slew of MIT courses — although they’re not interactive, they’re something to do online for a few hours at a time. Just a random thought.
Jen the ex Radiator Lady wrote on 06/3/07 at 4:24 pm :
Have you talked to God lately? If not, I think you should. Just kidding. I checked, and God took the decade off. (This explains Bush, no?) I haven’t read the rest of the entries after this one yet, so forgive me if you talk about this, but how does your boyfriend handle your depression? I have trouble letting my husband have an hour or two of grumpiness when he wakes up each day, even though I know he just needs his coffee and a bit of time to shake the sleep off before he really joins the land of the living. I just desire his happiness so much, that it can be tough. I can’t imagine being able to see someone I loved so much be so sad and suicidal for such an extended period of time. How does he avoid taking it personally? Does it cause fights? Forgive me if I’m asking things you don’t want to answer. You certainly don’t have to - I’m going to check out the other entries now.
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