Heartfuck Pool Mama, Esq.

July 9th, 2007 by trancejen

While supervising the J-Man and a couple of his friends - one of whom is a kid from school whose parents are horrifyingly normal and nice and perfect and is generally a kid whom I would really like to avoid traumatizing at all costs - in the pool I passed right the fuck out in the yard, right there in the muddy patch where I was running the sprinkler because I was trying to revive the grass in the little crop-circle patch of lawn where we had the old pool last year, right there face-down with sunglasses and a Diet Coke in my hands.

I suck, I suck, I suck.

Apparently I was out for a few minutes, so the kids ran to get my neighbor who came and mopped me down with wet towels because my skin was on fire.

I am not supposed to be out in the heat, really.  I don’t tolerate it well due to the medication I’m on.

I also never listen.  I don’t tolerate advice well due to my rampant stupidity.

The poor little girl from the J-Man’s school has been giving me the hairy eyeball ever since.  I think she thinks I’m going to explode any second now.

Who knows, I might.

What really torques me off is that she’s most definitely going to go home and talk about what a malformed freak the J-Man’s mom is, not to mention the fact that I SMOKED, I fucking broke down and had a smoke in the house afterward because I was so rattled, and now the Lutherans will have MY HEAD.

I can’t stand the pressure of being good, let alone healthy.

I would say that I need a drink, but God know THAT’S completely out of the question.

Happy Monday.

7 Responses to “Heartfuck Pool Mama, Esq.”

  1. BettyBigHead wrote on 07/10/07 at 7:55 am :

    Hey Jen, don’t know if you remember me…one of the Weetaconers. I have had diabetes most of my life and have done the face in the floor thing in front of my kids, too. Luckily I never did it in front of their friends but the fear that I would was always there. Be thankful that your little guy has the good sense to know when you need help and knows who to go to. I was always amazed that my kids were so tuned in to my behavior and knew when I needed a bite of food or needed to stop what we were doing to do a finger stick. You don’t suck. Don’t let the mother’s guilt thing take control. Enough lecturing…hope to see you next spring.

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