My Yard, My Kingdom.
July 16th, 2007 by trancejen
Yesterday we threw the annual J-Man Birthday Bash, with startlingly low attendance. Apparently my relatives were in short supply and most of my friends were overbooked; either that or I suck and everyone hates me.
I kid.
We did have the lovely Lola, my friend Bek, her husband, and their gorgeous baby; and some of my cooler neighbors, so I can’t complain; plus the weather was more awesome than I possibly could have hoped for and the J-Man made a small fortune.
I didn’t take pictures because I am now officially a bad mother. So there.
Today I discovered that the Swearing Squirrel, neighborhood ruffian, ripped apart all of the carefully wrapped and packaged refuse I put out in the alley for the garbagemen. The fucker. (I assume it was him because he has been caught chewing holes in many of the neighborhood garbage cans. Plus, no other squirrel is as evil.)
Yesterday as Bullshit patiently attempted to teach me how to assemble and use the pool vacuum the Swearing Squirrel sat up in the neighbor’s tree and rained down nasty epithets upon us. I cannot help but feel insulted when I am out-sworn by a tree rodent.
Elmo is now allowed Out because we now have a fence around the backyard and she has been treated with prophylactic flea medication. Therefore much of her time spent outside is spent stalking the Swearing Squirrel and gazing longingly upon him as one might gaze upon a Dove bar.
The Swearing Squirrel is not intimidated in the slightest by this attention. In fact, it only seems to egg him on further. He sometimes actually comes down to sit on the four-foot chain-link fence where, although he is in harm’s way, he can curse right in her face.
This leaves her livid, and prone to leap face-first into the fence. Ow.
I then collect my poor little pool of yowling black fur and bring her into the house as the grey beast rants and chatters on.
Truly he is one of God’s most foul creations.
I will be doing some re-designing this week, so if it looks fucked up, be patient.
Also, please remember that the link here is now http://trancejen.pointlessbanter.net. Please change your bookmarks, and thank you.
Happy Monday.
Lola wrote on 07/16/07 at 12:34 pm :
Thanks for having me over for the J-Man’s party! It was definitely fun to see everyone and catch up, and I can’t even begin to tell you how nice it was to just be me for a while instead of the wife/mom.
Thanks for the hospitality!
Anonymous wrote on 07/16/07 at 1:01 pm :
Hi, I used to read you all the time. I have an odd request. Could you post up your deep dish pizza recipe? I used to make it all the time and I wanted to bake it today. Thanks!!!
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Another birthday for the J-Man?! Next thing I’ll know is that he’ll be off for college. Wish him the best for me.
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