Trance in a Trance and More on Rilo Kiley.
September 14th, 2007 by trancejen
So a couple of weeks ago, my father sees an ad for a hypnotist in the paper. This is one of those guys that has seminars, writes books, etc., and his forte is helping people lose weight. My father has about twenty pounds or so to lose. I currently have over fifty, having porked up to an astonishingly chunk-dified degree of bovine sluggishness.
I can’t even look in the mirror these days. I make myself sick.
Anyway, my dad wanted to check out the hypnotist, who was offering free consultations. This surprised me, since my dad is of a scientific bent and really doesn’t go in for all that hippie crap. I was somewhat skeptical, but I’ll try anything once; so I was “all in”, as we say here in the hood.
Not to mention the fact that I would pretty much go into week-long trances if it would help me stop shoving food into my fat face.
The office was nicely laid out with several books and meditation CDs on display. After waiting for forty-five minutes, which sort of torked me off, my dad had to leave to go show one of his apartments, so I was left alone to face the hypnotist.
He called me into his office directly after my father left and asked me a few questions. Was my weight affecting my self-esteem? Yes. Was it affecting my health? Probably. Had I had previous attempts at weight loss? Ha ha ha ha ha. Yes.
Then he did two little exercises in order to determine whether I was hypnotize-able. These consisted mainly of my following instructions. Look at your fingers. Bring them closer together. Now touch them together. OK. Then I had to close my eyes and imagine that my eyelids were heavy and that try as I might, I could not open them. I have a good imagination. This was easy.
I guess I’m hypnotize-able.
The guy was extremely affable and friendly. I suppose I expected him to be more serious and, I don’t know, stern. You’d think a hypnotist would have sort of a commanding presence, no? Not this dude. I liked him, though.
The “program” lasts for eight months and consists of weekly sessions in addition to using books and CDs. It’s guaranteed, so if you don’t lose the amount of weight you want to lose in that eight months, they add extra sessions and support for free until you lose it.
It costs a rather exorbitant amount of money, but he claimed that since my father didn’t have much weight to lose that he could join with me for free. Then he dropped the price a bit. I told him I’d have to talk it over with my dad (translation: ask my dad to pay for it) and get back to him.
My dad and I had dinner afterwards and discussed it, and we are probably going to go for it, my father paying most of the money and me adding a bit.
We’re probably being suckers.
Still, I am going to try to remain open-minded and give it a good healthy shot. I need to. My ass is so wide that the rocking chair trembles in fear every time I walk by.
In other news, the Rilo Kiley show at the Riv is tomorrow night, and Bullshit and I will be there with bells on.
I have listened to Under the Blacklight a gazillion times by now and I finally think I’ve nailed how I feel about it. The first half of the album I like, the last half can go jump.
I know some would not agree with me. I Love “Silver Lining” and “Close Call”, though, and yes, “Moneymaker”, even the hated “Moneymaker”, the song that launched a thousand blog diatribes. I like that damned song.
Even Blake, Blake Sennet whose effeminate voice I generally can’t stand pulled a good one out of his ass for the first half of this album in “Dreamworld” - old Blake sounds like he actually grew a pair on that song. Good for you, Blake!
I like the title track in spite of the fact that, as many music critics have pointed out, Jenny Lewis’s falsetto is probably not what it could be. It might just be my favorite song on the album.
“Breakin Up” is cheesy and so, so disco, and hey, I defy you not to shake your ass a little to that one. Come on, it’s the perfect post-shower boogie tune!
Bullshit says that “Dejalo” sounds like the Miami Sound Machine and I think he’s so right.
I don’t know what to think of “The Smoke Detector”. I go back and forth on that one. It’s sort of fun, I sort of want to know what the dance looks like, and I sort of hate it for being so stupid.
“Fifteen” is passable.
“When the Angels Come Around” sounds more like classic Rilo Kiley, but it doesn’t sound like it belongs on this album for some reason.
I hate the last song on the album with a fiery passion generally reserved for spiders, people who kick kittens, and computer viruses. What kind of Debbie Gibson pop shit is that? It almost made me hate the whole album the first time I heard it, I hated it so much. Gah. Give a little love. Bah. Hell. Gack.
Anyway, save that last song, I’m very much looking forward to the show.
Happy Friday.
dom wrote on 09/14/07 at 10:04 am :
If the hypnotist works for you, then more power to ya.
And I have tix to the RK show Saturday too. Should be a good one. She was awesome on her solo tour. We’ll see how much of the “pop” I can stomach. I’ll say hi if I spot ya and if that wouldn’t freak you out.
trancejen wrote on 09/14/07 at 10:23 am :
Dom, definitely do that! My hair is black now and I’ll probably be wearing black, and I think you know what Bullshit looks like. I’ll buy you a beer.
Trance in a Trance and More on Rilo Kiley. by diet.MEDtrials.info wrote on 09/14/07 at 1:05 pm :
[…] continues at trancejen brought to you by diet.medtrials.info and […]
Mary wrote on 09/15/07 at 12:33 am :
You know, I went to a hypnotist/therapist in 2001, and I lost 40 lbs, slowly, after. It worked better for me than anything else ever has. Unfortunately he died a couple of years ago. I am starting to have some trouble gaining back, and would like to find somebody as good as he was to help me. Really, if it works for you, it’s a wonderful thing.
The ex-RL wrote on 09/15/07 at 12:34 am :
Er, isn’t Jenny Lewis a redheaded kid from 80s TV? You crazy kids.
Trance wrote on 09/15/07 at 10:31 am :
Yep.
Rae wrote on 09/15/07 at 11:06 pm :
I saw Rilo Kiley last night in Minneapolis. The pop stuff was more fun than I expected (she’s a brilliant performer, what else could it be?), and definitely dancable. Can’t wait to hear what you thought of the show!
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This is random, but did you ever find out why your kitty went gray? I saw a cat with that same coloring and it reminded me of yours!
Andrea wrote on 09/17/07 at 5:50 am :
Ah! Rilo Kiley… I was in Toronto a few weeks ago in the HMV and saw that album displayed as a top album. It looked good so I bought it and found your thoughts are pretty much the same as mine. I put the first half on my IPOD and I am going to give the CD away. It was disappointing. The worst part is that they almost get it with thier songs but never quite get it. if ya know what I mean. There is so much missing in those songs.
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