Here Lies A Cloud of Doom, I Swear…
September 18th, 2007 by trancejen
We got some very unsettling news yesterday. My mother had her bone scan, not the bone density scan, which she had about a week ago, but the actual bone scan for which they inject dye into the body to see all the bones.
My mom’s bone density is 40% less than what it should be. On the bone density scan she scored a minus four when she should have scored a three. Basically this means that she is past osteoporosis, past the point of drugs like Boniva doing any good, almost past the point of no return. She is as fragile as a little bird.
The doctor said, after the bone scan, that there are two areas that look especially bad - her pelvis and her chest. Her chest looks bad because she fractured it. Her pelvis may look bad because she fell shortly after she fractured her rib and sternum. It also may look bad because she might have bone cancer, which might have caused this whole low-bone-density thing.
It would make sense. My mother is whip-thin but one thing she has always done has been to take a calcium supplement with Vitamin D, every day, without fail, ever since I can remember. None of this makes any fucking sense unless the previous chemo and radiation she’s had has somehow destroyed her bones.
The doctor advised my mother not to lift anything, and to be extremely careful not to fall, as if she is elderly.
The thought of my mother having cancer again makes me rage.
What pisses me off is this: My mother works full time. She runs a cleaning business part-time, doing most of that cleaning herself. She takes care of this house. She takes care of me and the J-Man. She stays fit and active. She eats reasonably well. She takes daily vitamins. She spends her weekends putzing in the yard, going shopping, cleaning, running errands, and never fucking sitting down. She doesn’t drink alcohol and she rarely smokes ultra-light cigarettes. She has been like this her whole damned life.
She is not some goddamned fat, lazy hausfrau who doesn’t take care of herself, who sucks down nitrates and bourbon and never eats a vegetable. Still, she has had multiple bouts with cancer and a brain aneurysm, and now this.
Now this.
It just is not fucking fair.
As much as I bitch I sort of accept my lot in life because in the past I really put my body through the wringer, you know? In a way I accept this as penance. My mother, however, has not been stupid. My mother has done her damnedest to remain healthy her whole life, and I can’t accept the fact that this shit continually happens to her.
I know that there is not always a reason why, but damn.
It may not be cancer. She’s going to have an MRI of her pelvis, and then we will know. She’s calling to schedule the test today.
If it is not cancer, she will have to give herself injections every day for two years to help rebuild the bone she’s lost. This will help, she’s told. She’s going to have to be extremely careful, though.
If it is cancer, I don’t know. We talked about it a little last night, unwillingly on my part. She started to break down and told me I’d have to make arrangements for myself and the J-Man. I told her that she was jumping the gun.
I am scared, mostly because I don’t know if my tiny little mother can take another thing like this.
Sometimes I feel like there’s something in this house that is killing us. It’s silly, but there’s been so much trauma and drama here that I can’t help but wonder.
Give us your good thoughts.
Mish wrote on 09/18/07 at 9:23 am :
oh god. i hope she does not have cancer. Lighting does seem to strike you and your mom a bit too frequently to make it seem all too unfair.
((hugs))
Ingrid wrote on 09/18/07 at 10:33 am :
It is the chemo/radiation. Did she have breast cancer? Is she taking drugs for that? Those drugs have also been known to cause bone density issues. (my mil just went through a year of lumpectomy/chemo/radiation - and she didn’t want to know anything but what the doctors told her. I wanted to know everything!)
I hope your mom is OK and cancer has not returned in any way. I know you’ve been worrying over it.
Lynnda wrote on 09/18/07 at 10:34 am :
That sucks, that just fucking sucks. I wish I had something better to say than “I’m sorry” and “That sucks,” but I am, and it does, and I’m thinking of you and wishing good things for you and your family as hard as I can.
golfwidow wrote on 09/18/07 at 10:45 am :
I know what you mean - my mother took calcium every day since she was twenty, had no family history of cancer, quit smoking when cigs went up to 25¢ a pack, and still wound up with breast cancer and osteoperosis. All it proves is that the medical profession is not infallible, which does us no good.
You and your family have all my support.
Laura (the Live) wrote on 09/18/07 at 12:26 pm :
I’m sending you and your family some seriously positive mojo. When it rains, it pours. But I have also heard that chemo/radiation does a number on bone density so try not to focus on the worst-case scenario…although I know that is easier said…
(((HUGS)))
Meg wrote on 09/18/07 at 12:42 pm :
Oh, Jen.
Always.
goatbarnwitch wrote on 09/18/07 at 2:21 pm :
I wish I could do more than offer you and your mom and the J-man my biggest hopes that all will be well with your mom. It sucks that your mom is being hit with another crappy health issue.
For-Tart wrote on 09/18/07 at 3:25 pm :
Be strong for her. If you get too down, email for a pick-me-up joke.
cosmic wrote on 09/18/07 at 5:04 pm :
Man, that sucks big time. Like you, I figure with my health that I too am paying pennance for all the alcohol, lack of common sense and smoking that I did. But when this shit happens to someone that lived a healthy life-style all their life, it just isn’t fair. My good vibe thoughts are with her and you, and of course, J-Man. ((hugs))
Bozoette Mary wrote on 09/18/07 at 6:29 pm :
Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Sending all the good thoughts and light and hugs your way, for all of you.
Cruel Irony wrote on 09/18/07 at 6:48 pm :
Oh Girl, I’m so sorry to hear that. You all are in my hearts, thoughts and prayers. Kiss, kiss.
michael wrote on 09/18/07 at 7:21 pm :
Hugs, Jen.
Emma wrote on 09/19/07 at 4:53 am :
Thinking of you all. Much love.
Kimberly wrote on 09/19/07 at 8:28 am :
I must be getting my period because reading this post gave me the pre crying jag eye heat and nose tingle. If I read it again I am going to need a tissue.
Every time I feel the urge to say something negative to myself or worry about pointless stupid shit, I’m going to say a prayer for your mom instead.
Pacer wrote on 09/19/07 at 1:51 pm :
Oh dear. Good thoughts!
sooboo wrote on 09/19/07 at 4:33 pm :
I am really hoping for the best for you and the fam. I’m sending good vibes.
Milla wrote on 09/20/07 at 5:31 am :
You two sweet ladies are in my thoughts and prayers. Let’s hope for the best!
fm wrote on 09/20/07 at 11:08 am :
coming out of the woodwork just to say that you have all the good vibes I can muster.
my mom (at 55) had full-blown osteoporosis and did the injections (as a drug trial). within a year she had recovered a dramatic amount of bone density.
I know you’re more at the ‘omg, cancer’ stage right now, but wanted to plant that positive thought anyway.
victoria wrote on 09/20/07 at 11:37 am :
Trance, your mom isn’t “perfect.” She’s stick-thin and that’s not healthy. Women who diet their whole lives and maintain a below-normal weight drastically increase their risk of bone density loss. Weight-bearing exercise (not calcium consumption) is the key to maintaining bone density. If you’re underweight and active, your bones still aren’t doing as much weight bearing as the bones of even a sedentary person who is of a normal weight. That may not be why her bones are so fragile: it could be the treatment for previous cancers. It could be bone cancer for all I know. But your mom is not the picture perfect image of flawless health just because she’s thin. (I think we tend to associate slenderness with health but it’s not always so simple.)
Nightowl wrote on 09/20/07 at 8:27 pm :
Trance, what Victoria says is correct. There are so many other factors for osteoporosis than just calcium intake. Alot of it is genetics, like people of asian decent are more suseptable than black people. And thin people who have been thin all their lives who don’t use weight bearing exercises. Mass media has really done a number on confusing the public on causes and prevention for diseases. Calcium is such a small thing for prevention of osteoporosis.
Also, they have found that alot cancers are caused from virus’ and eating healthy and staying at a good healthy weight goes a long ways in fending off those virus’.
I’m sure with all the tests run on your mother, the most common cell blood count(CBC) was done. A high white blood cell count it a big indicator of cancer. If they didn’t see that, then there is a big chance she just has bone loss and can recover some of that.
Wishing for the best for you and yours.
Christine wrote on 09/20/07 at 8:58 pm :
Hoping all the best for Trancemom, sending you good thoughts to get through this.
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