Weetacon IV - The Meatening.
January 28th, 2008 by trancejen
Yesterday as Bullshit and I were wandering around the Mars Cheese Castle (which, for the uninitiated, is your basic cheese store/bakery/souvenir shop/cocktail lounge) I finally came up with some good answers to “Why the fuck are you going to Green Fucking Bay in the middle of winter? Are you crazy?”
As for the second part of that two-parter: If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, duh.
As for the first part, well here you go:
I went to Green Bay to drink a great big awful lot of Blue Moon.
I went to Green Bay to visit a doctor that I actually really, really like.
I went to Green Bay because it is ba, ba, ba, so good, so good, so good.
I went to Green Bay because karaoke, that fantastic spectator hobby, is both practiced and appreciated by locals and tourists alike.
I went to Green Bay for the cuisine, which included shepherd’s pie rife with huge chunks of lamb, hearty Irish stew, barely singed filet mignon that is raw enough to moo, luscious bread pudding with ice cream on the side, huge greasy hamburgers fragrant with raw onion and dripping with cholesterol, fried cheese curds which make the arteries scream out loud - basically everything that would make a healthy-type person run screaming in the streets for alfalfa sprouts.
I went to Green Bay to develop a startlingly poignant girlcrush.
I went to Green Bay to be able to smoke in a damned bar. Take that, Illinois.
I went to Green Bay to be able to sleep catless. Ah, to be in a bed with no felines! What an unimaginable luxury!
I went to Green Bay to do shots of Tequila Rose off of a ski. Yes, a ski. A ski with strategically designed holes for shot glasses. This is called a “shotski”. Only in Green Bay, folks.
I went to Green Bay to get to know some sorta-new friends a little more, people whom I found I liked very much. Yes, I’m looking at you.
I went to Green Bay to compare tattoos.
I went to Green Bay to wreak havoc on my arthritic joints by dancing like a very bad girl in a very, very Bad Bar.
I went to Green Bay to watch vibrator races. The bar actually had a vibrator race on a specially-designed vibrator race track, with the national anthem played beforehand. The winner was named “Push It”, after Salt and Pepa’s song. Push it real good! I love America.
I went to Green Bay to watch my Bullshit, my love, mix with my friends, and it was a fabulous feeling indeed.
I also went to Green Bay to think.
In Green Bay, I pondered the fact that even though I can’t work right now, I need to do something with my life so as to be able to answer the questions, “What do you do?” and “What are you doing now?”. “I used to be,” doesn’t cut it. I need to write. I need to do something. I know I am capable of something, some small thing that I have not yet squeezed out of my broken body, and that I have been sitting on my ass grousing for far too long. I need to find that thing.
In Green Bay I realized that I am jealous of those who are thin, and that it is an ugly trait. It is ugly because I am so very far from doing all I can to get there (see above consumption of Green Bay cuisine). I need to get off of my chunky butt and work out. I need to stop shoving food into my bored, somnolent maw and diet. I need to stop complaining about being fat and, as trite of a Nike saying as it is, just do it.
On Sunday in Green Bay I sat down in the bathroom for a moment and cried because I miss my friends so goddamn much when I leave; and it’s hard to tell them that I don’t often e-mail or read their blogs because it hurts to sit here on the south side, feeling so very far-removed and alone after a weekend of fun and togetherness and aren’t we all happy-happy-huggy-huggy-I-love-you. I’m trying to change that. Scratch that - I will change that. I will be less of a net hermit. I will be around.
In Green Bay I learned that I am very interested in being more a part of the human race and less hermit-ous and curled up here in my own little silent sick world.
Green Bay-ers, I missed you guys, and I love you. I don’t want it to be another year before we speak again, because you mean a lot to me.
I went to Green Bay to be with my people.
Apparently the Cheese Castle cheese has rubbed off on me. I’ll stop now.
Happy Monday.
lisa-marie wrote on 01/28/08 at 3:50 pm :
I’m so glad to hear you had a good time (unlike your last trip!), and I am so damn sad I missed it. *sigh* Maybe next time.
Cruel Irony wrote on 01/28/08 at 4:31 pm :
I’m so glad you had fun in Green Bay but, of course, how could you not? I missed seeing you this year. Bullshit too. Shoot, I missed seeing everybody!
trancejen wrote on 01/28/08 at 5:05 pm :
You two were missed. You will come to Chicago, where the next gathering is being planned. You will come to Chicago. You will come to Chicago.
Is it working?
whyme63 wrote on 01/28/08 at 8:05 pm :
DAMMIT! You were at Mar’s Cheese Castle! If I’d known, I’d have run out to the “I” and bought you a drink! Or a cheese shaped like a beer mug! I live right here in K-Town and I was just free as a bird yesterday.
Melinda wrote on 01/28/08 at 8:07 pm :
I am also resolving to be less of a net hermit. Emails for everyone! Love you girl, and I am so, so glad I got to hug you multiple times this weekend.
Trance wrote on 01/28/08 at 10:09 pm :
Why-me, no shit?! I wish Id-a known!
Melinda, love you too, woman, and you rock. You get props for being the bravest woman in the Bad Bar.
Shawn wrote on 01/29/08 at 12:56 am :
Aw, now you got a girl all blushing over here.
You are the bomb explosive and I am very happy that I had the chance to spend some time with you in GB. I hope it won’t be another two years before we see each other again!
Bozoette Mary wrote on 01/29/08 at 10:07 am :
I loved seeing you and Bullshit, and I promise to finish the damn sequel already, just for you.
trancejen wrote on 01/29/08 at 10:50 am :
Shawn, you’ll have to come to Chicago in October!!
Chicago in October, folks, that’s the next happening.
And Mary, GET RIGHT ON THAT!!!!
lisa-marie wrote on 01/29/08 at 11:00 am :
Chicago in October. Got it.
Hostrauser wrote on 01/29/08 at 12:58 pm :
Luckily, we got free round-trip tickets from Midwest, so Melinda and I will be up for just about any fall gathering.
Trance wrote on 01/29/08 at 1:35 pm :
Fucking A.
Trance wrote on 01/29/08 at 1:36 pm :
I meant that as, “Fucking A, and it was great to see you.”
Cruel Irony wrote on 01/29/08 at 4:51 pm :
Chicago in October? That might work for me this year. Or rather, I’ll make it work!
michael wrote on 01/29/08 at 6:38 pm :
I had a blast this weekend!! Seeing you and BS was great!!
Trance wrote on 01/30/08 at 6:34 pm :
It was wonderful to see you too, even if you are evil.
Karl Elvis wrote on 02/1/08 at 5:38 pm :
One of these days I have to stop missing out on these things.
biensoul wrote on 07/8/08 at 7:09 pm :
I want to cry. Seriously.