Yellow Alert.
February 5th, 2008 by trancejen
Someone has peed upon the bed.
Someone has climbed upon my mother’s bed and simply taken a piss with no regard for either the consequences or the quite fancy velvet patchwork bedspread.
I am aghast.
This is unheard of, throughout a lifetime of cats, this wanton bed-peeing.
Once we had a bed-poop, but it was Elmo, the very day we brought her home at the young age of six weeks, and it was quickly and quietly disposed of and forgotten.
This peeing, however, this is another matter entirely. We have cats (and a child, the child must not be above suspicion), that range from the age of ten weeks to seventeen years, and I cannot fathom the fact that any of them would dare to pee outside of the enormous litter box (or toilet), which is cleaned daily (weekly or bi-weekly, in the toilet’s case).
I am completely kerfuffled.
There was a spot, a spot that we assumed was vomit because the digestive systems of two of our cats are as weak as Sally Field’s fragile little bones (I am going straight to hell for that one), and my mother sniffed it. She rankled. Pee. For the love of sweet bleeding Jesus, it was pee.
The bed was stripped. The stain remover was utilized. The washer was loaded. My mother’s possible incontinence was brought into question. The J-Man was grilled, and much offense was taken. I maintained my innocence, having not been in the room during the evening in question. There was much discussion regarding the tossing of felines out in the snow. However, the big question on all of our minds was this: Who was it?
Elmo, aside from her earliest offense, had a spotless record, so to speak, as did Lucky. There was no reason to believe that these two mature cats who had no prior record and a history of regular catbox usage were guilty.
Ollie’s age had to be taken into consideration, but so did the fact that she was too arthritic to jump up onto the bed and rarely did so.
This left the kitten. Was the juvenile not properly versed in the laws of the household? Had taking away her own private, smaller litter box forced her into a life of crime? We didn’t know, but she was certainly our most likely suspect.
Today the crime scene is closed off, the doors to my mother’s room remaining firmly shut so that no cats may enter. The door to the TranceCave is closed as well, should any cat have the urge to relieve itself on a pricey comforter cover.
I am watching the cats carefully for any sign of dissent. Should I see any indication that a cat is going to pee, it will be immediately and firmly dealt with.
I remain vigilant and, if truth be told, quite disgusted.
I have never had a cat that was not perfectly trained. They practically shoot out of the womb perfectly trained. I have no idea what to do with one who decides that they may pee wherever they like. The idea is bizarre to me as myself squatting down in the living room and then going on about my day. Hey! I don’t feel like missing a second of Law and Order, why don’t I just pee on the couch? It’s…
…well, frankly, it’s crossed my mind. Still, I wouldn’t actually do it.
Damn cats.
Happy Tuesday.
me wrote on 02/5/08 at 12:21 pm :
“My mother’s possible incontinence was brought into question. The J-Man was grilled, and much offense was taken.”
This made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the visual Jen.
Jas wrote on 02/5/08 at 1:10 pm :
One of them might have a UTI. If it hurts to pee, they will stop peeing in the litter box because they associate it with pain. Also, if you have older cats (as I read you do), it might be getting hard for them to get into the box. My vet recommended a ramp to make it easier on the elderly. If all of your cats share one box, it might be best to set up an additional box (or two) and see if that solves the issue. Someone might be protesting the addition of another cat to the litter box community or to the house in general.
Poppy wrote on 02/5/08 at 1:33 pm :
Jen, I feel for you. Cat piss is the most evil substance on the face of the planet. I had a pee-er and and had to live with a shower curtain over my bedspread and a tarp on my couch for over two years until we decided that enough was enough and the pee-er had to meet the big litterbox in the sky. We tried behavior modification drugs, but nothing could cure the fact that one of my cats hated another and decided that peeing wherever the hated cat had been was a fantastic idea. I’d have found her another home but the lovely personality trait of attacking anyone who wasn’t me or my husband didn’t seem to be a huge selling point in her favor. For your sake, I hope this is a one time thing.
Kim wrote on 02/5/08 at 2:52 pm :
I agree with Jas. My cat, Kaiser, had a UTI when he was a wee (ha) kitten and the vets freaked because he was so young.
Of course, he’s 2 now, very healthy, box trained, but he still likes to pee in laundry baskets from time to time.
L wrote on 02/5/08 at 3:25 pm :
A couple years ago, my cat pissed on my bed when I was in it.
At first I was ready to barbecue his ass (I kid, I adore him)but when I went to go throw the sheets in the washer, I noticed a huge puddle of blood and suddenly all his frantic meowing bitchfests made sense.
When I took him into the vet, he said that cats with UTIs will often pee on your things in an effort to get your attention and indicate something’s wrong.
I didn’t know something that chases his butt after he farts could be so intelligent
trancejen wrote on 02/5/08 at 4:48 pm :
I’m really interested in finding out who it was because if it’s one of the younger cats, it might indicate the UTI. I really, really don’t think it’s the oldest cat, though, because she really doesn’t have the chops to jump up on that bed. I’m mainly worried about the kitten, because I don’t want her to think the house is a free-for-all. The chances of me catching one of them in the act is SLIM, though…
sooboo wrote on 02/5/08 at 7:49 pm :
I say send the bedding to the lab for analysis!
maddy wrote on 02/5/08 at 10:26 pm :
Did your mom do something to piss (ha!) one of the cats off? We had a perfectly trained cat who got mad at my roomate’s boyfriend (deservedly so) and he started peeing on his belongings. Only his stuff, so it was pretty obvious!
raelala wrote on 02/9/08 at 2:37 pm :
Feliway. Also, you might want to consider increasing your number of litter boxes to one per cat. I know this can be difficult in a small house, but some cats just simply do not like to share and will make that fact known.