Busted and Church.
February 6th, 2008 by trancejen
The culprit has been found.
I don’t know why we didn’t see it.
She has a history of violence
and altercations
with Elmo, who as you can see is becoming severely emotionally damaged.
This should have been our first tip-off. However, we erroneously saw this as nothing more than simple play, not the misdemeanors indicative of felonies to come.
She was caught fleeing the scene this morning.
Unfortunately we do not have adequate prison facilities, so the best we could do is to keep the crime scene cordoned off. She is being allowed to remain housed with the general population.
It’s never easy to watch a good kitten go bad.
(These pictures sucked, for which I apologize.)
Anyway, for serious, I am appalled. The kitten was caught starting to go in the exact same spot she picked last time, even though it was thoroughly cleaned. This indicates that she’s simply doing it out of habit, not because she has a UTI or is otherwise sick.
My mom is about to choke her.
I’m not quite sure what to do. For now we’re just keeping the doors closed to my mother’s room.
In other news, it is Lent, which means the J-Man’s choir is now singing on Wednesdays, which means I have to go to freaking church another freaking day of the week. I believe today is Ash Wednesday, if I’m not mistaken.
You know, I wouldn’t mind church so very much were it not so very solemn and dull and well, Lutheran. The Lutherans sing as if they were welded to the pews and force-fed Demerol. The Lutherans respond to the pastor in a boring monotone that brings to mind Thorazine-loaded zombies in a mental institution. The Lutherans even stand and sit stiffly as if Jesus himself might burst down out of the ceiling in a rain of fire and brimstone should anyone spring up too quickly or jiggle a knee or show a little fucking animation.
I want to go to one of those exciting gospel churches where everyone dances and bounces and sings like R. Kelly and Kirk Franklin bops in and starts telling everybody to STOMP and the preacher sweats and gets all excited and the old ladies faint and people need fans and the women wear big hats and the congregation yells yeah, amen!!
Now THAT’S a church. Not this blah blah boring bullshit.
For Lent I believe that one is supposed to give up something important to oneself, so I am giving up my bordering-on-psychotic level of food issues.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
Whoooooo.
That was great.
I’ll bet you were all feverishly wondering what the hell I would write about during those depressive downbeats, weren’t you.
Sure you were.
Happy Wednesday. And don’t give up beer. It’s the spice of life.
Poppy wrote on 02/6/08 at 10:57 am :
My only other suggestions for the pee problem are to add another litterbox somewhere else and if the one you have already has a hood to make sure that either you take it off or that the new box you add doesn’t have a hood. Sometimes they get all freaky about feeling trapped and they find a new spot where they can see any other cats coming at them.
trancejen wrote on 02/6/08 at 10:59 am :
She’s using the box, though! It’s not like she’s just peeing on the bed and nowhere else? Sigh. But I will try it.
Debra wrote on 02/6/08 at 12:15 pm :
They’re all such cuties! I feel your pain- I have one that I am ready to choke as well! Nature’s Miracle does a good job at getting the smell out - if you continue to have the problem.
Poppy wrote on 02/6/08 at 12:26 pm :
Just to be safe too, until you’re sure she’s not going to use your mom’s bed as a pee-spot anymore I’d try a cheap shower curtain under her bedspread to provide a barrier between the pee and the mattress - they’re the perfect size.
lisa-marie wrote on 02/6/08 at 1:39 pm :
I have to agree with you about Lutherans, even though I am one. (Well, half Lutheran; my dad was Presbyterian, which I think is basically the same thing.) They worship like its the most depressing thing in the world, when really we should be rejoiceful and happy and loudly singing the praises of the Lord. I’d take a happy church over a sad one anyday!
trancejen wrote on 02/6/08 at 2:08 pm :
Maybe the Lutherans are putting Lithium on the pews and it is being absorbed into the asses of the congregation? A thought…
sooboo wrote on 02/6/08 at 9:01 pm :
I have a (male) pee (er) and one thing that has helped is Nature’s Miracle. It’s a clean up spray, but it also has a smell that discourages them from doing it again. It doesn’t smell like anything at all to me. My cat has never revisted his old “haunts” where I have used it. Also, that fleeing the scene pic is priceless. I can just hear the cursing that preceded that escape!
dz wrote on 02/6/08 at 11:29 pm :
I enjoy your Lutheran musings much more than Garrison Keillor’s.
I have a vacuum thingy called a Spot Bot that I recommend for animal “accidents” (if you have some money to spare… hey, it might prevent you from having to replace bedding).
Jas wrote on 02/7/08 at 12:30 am :
I haven’t been to church in years and years, so I don’t even know if they still do this or if they updated the service, but my Lutheran church (Missouri Synod) did A LOT of chanting. And man, it was depressing. Even the parts that were supposed to be happier chanting (if there is such a thing) were depressing. And the hymns - sung quietly, so you could barely hear hundreds of people over the organ! The only time the congregation showed signs of life and emotion were at Christmas and Easter.
OrneryPest wrote on 02/7/08 at 5:32 am :
Episcopalians are pretty much the same as Lutherans. In fact, we’ve even got some sorta pact of brotherly communion (or something like that) between us.
Katherine wrote on 02/7/08 at 1:56 pm :
I don’t know what you’re talking about, Willis, that photo of the kitten’s ass as it leapt onto the sofa was one of the best cat photos EVER! Oh, and as the “parent” of a renegade pissing cat I can assure you that additional litter boxes don’t help (us anyway) and fuel the flames of my rage at the fact that the fooking cat chooses the gdamn floor over not one, not two but THREE piney fresh litter boxes conveniently distributed throughout our home. Just my $.02.
Kari wrote on 02/8/08 at 9:36 am :
Our cat Pickles was a bit of a pisser when she was a kitten. She peed all over my wool coat twice and I caught her peeing in a pile of dirty towels waiting to be washed on the basement floor once. When given a chance, she will try to wedge her ass in this huge planter I have and try to pee, but tinfoil seems to keep her away. (Unfortunately, the plant looks like it is a conspiracy theorist.)
She has pretty much grown out of it, and it really helped when we added the second litter box. (Two boxes, two cats.) My MIL has a theory about cats that pee outside of the litter box: “Once a pisser, always a pisser” so we are hyper vigilant with Pickles.
Good Luck Jen, I feel your pain!
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