Gainfully Employed.
February 11th, 2008 by trancejen
So today I start my job. I believe I look very polished and professional in my powder blue pajama pants with the hems torn out, my bleach-stained black t-shirt, and my furry red socks. This is the future of the working woman’s wardrobe, doubt it not. Soon offices will be chock-full of snazzy, cockatiel-haired women wearing the exact same fucking thing, only they will have have purchased lame copies of it at Ann Taylor Loft, and I will have started the whole damn trend because I am cool.
Yes, folks, I am full of piss and vinegar on this day, Working Day.
Soon I will be writing things like this:
The TranceJen Sofa is a practical and modern addition to any home. It features a non-descript beige microfiber material that comes from the rare Microfiberus, who roams the African veldt.
It also boasts a questionable stain whose origin is unknown. This Picasso-esque blotch adds character and a certain uniqueness to the product.
The frame is constructed of solid wood so strong that it has not yet succumbed to the scratches of the felines that like to hide within, and it is stuffed with stuffing of the fluffiest fluff-stuff.
This particular model includes several snags on the front panels thanks to artfully placed cat scratches. It also comes with two built-in recliners for folks who are too lazy to change position and lie down upon the sofa.
Obviously I am excellently-suited for this career and I will be a crack description writer.
I cannot wait.
I cannot tell you how absolutely psyched I am to have the opportunity to work at a job that allows me to fall down/have migraines/nap when I need to/etc. and not hit me with a big fat “You’re fired.”
This is so excellent that I can’t even wrap my head around it.
That, and I can use my own computer, thereby cranking up the font to a respectable 16 or 18, allowing me to see what the hell I’m writing while I’m writing.
And, I can write at night, when my wonky little brain is at its most productive.
Fabulous.
Clearly I have had too much coffee already and need to calm down, but good news is usually in short supply around here, and I am pretty geeked.
Happy Monday. From work.
lisa-marie wrote on 02/11/08 at 11:07 am :
Happy Monday and welcome to the working world, Jen!!
whyme63 wrote on 02/11/08 at 11:16 am :
Is it break time yet?
Queen of the Winter Carnival wrote on 02/11/08 at 12:02 pm :
Woo the hoo, sister!
Queen of the Winter Carnival wrote on 02/11/08 at 12:03 pm :
Oh, you know, woo TO the hoo. Or something. I need more coffee. At any rate, congratulations on the working and whatnot!
For-Tart wrote on 02/11/08 at 12:24 pm :
Can you slip in the phrase “polished look of genteel Southern respectability” ? I would be in your debt for days. Maybe weeks.
trancejen wrote on 02/11/08 at 12:27 pm :
Regarding my outfit, you mean?
Bozoette Mary wrote on 02/11/08 at 2:12 pm :
Could you get me a cup of coffee please?
Seriously, hurray!
forrest wrote on 02/11/08 at 5:02 pm :
holy woo hoo for you!
for seriously, that is very good news.
congratulations!