Archive for February, 2008
YAY!!
Saturday, February 9th, 2008I may just have a job, kids.
One of the readers of this site has offered me a job doing a little freelance writing. I would be writing product descriptions for a website that sells furniture and other home-type stuff. (Note to self: Do not use the word “stuff”.)
I can make a small amount of money […]
Feet Feet Feet Feet.
Friday, February 8th, 2008My feet are tore up from the floor up.
There is a song by the Distillers called “Crazed, Cracked, and Peeling”, and I think that the title is quite perfectly suited to my poor feet right about now. Crazed, cracked, and peeling. I can’t stand it. I can hardly look at them.
My toenails, my beautiful, always-perfect […]
Disability Review Jeopardy
Thursday, February 7th, 2008It’s disability review time!! Are you ready to play Disability Review Jeopardy?? Joining us will be Jen’s cardiologist, Dr. Boobman, Jen’s neurologist, Dr. Pinprick, Jen’s psychiatrist, Dr. Braindrain, and Jen’s pain management doctor, Dr. Spinefucker.
Get your buzzers ready, folks, and please remember to phrase your answers in the form of a question.
“I am […]
Busted and Church.
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008The culprit has been found.
I don’t know why we didn’t see it.
She has a history of violence
and altercations
with Elmo, who as you can see is becoming severely emotionally damaged.
This should have been our first tip-off. However, we erroneously saw this as nothing more than simple play, not the misdemeanors indicative of felonies to come.
She […]
Yellow Alert.
Tuesday, February 5th, 2008Someone has peed upon the bed.
Someone has climbed upon my mother’s bed and simply taken a piss with no regard for either the consequences or the quite fancy velvet patchwork bedspread.
I am aghast.
This is unheard of, throughout a lifetime of cats, this wanton bed-peeing.
Once we had a bed-poop, but it was Elmo, the very day […]
Jen Blazes Up the TranceCave.
Monday, February 4th, 2008I am a monumental dumbass.
Truly.
I am one of those people who lives in a pretty pink bubble that will not be popped, and who believes under most circumstance, It Will Never Happen To Me.
For this reason, I went against every sane bone in my body and every electrical code imaginable and created the Ghetto-Fabulous Electrical […]
Feed Me, Baby.
Friday, February 1st, 2008If you’d like to subscribe to my feed, here’s a handy link:
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Kitty Takes a Road Trip.
Friday, February 1st, 2008We had a good five or six inches of snow last night and it hasn’t stopped yet, so I assumed that school would be closed today.
Nope. I forgot that the incredibly tough Lutherans subscribe to the theory that unless there is five feet of snow and the doors cannot possibly be opened - and even […]
