They’ll Stone You When You’re At The Neurologist.
June 27th, 2008 by trancejen
So last night I started the double dose of seizure medication and also the fentanyl patch.
Jesus Christ, am I stoned. STONED. I didn’t even go to kickboxing, because frankly the Jell-O I am walking through would have made things rather challenging. Left hook? Hell, I can’t even get my left arm to light a fucking cigarette!
I do feel better, though. This is probably because I could not possibly give less of a shit about my problems or about life in general. As far as the long run goes, this is probably not a Great Thing, but for today it’s fucking stellar.
I never really understood the allure of drug addiction, but today I am sort of on that page. I’m fat? So the fuck what! I’m currently undergoing a terrible bout of acne, my roots are overgrown, I’m rife with seizures, and I look like your typical welfare-recipient/Jerry Springer guest/white-trash housewife? Fuck it! Ha ha! I don’t care!
Drugs: Instant Self-Esteem
Ah, Jesus.
Today I am a trainwreck, and that’s A-Fucking-OK, kids. I am fine with it.
Tomorrow I’m going to some hen party that features knockoff handbags and fake Tiffany jewelry. Normally I wouldn’t dream of attending such an “event” looking like a damned car ran over my face, but you know what? Fuck it. I’m going. I’m going to suit up in my Omar the Tent Maker brand fat clothes and truck on over there, and if the bitches don’t like it they can kiss my chunky butt!
I am loving this. I sure hope it lasts.
The J-Man took one look at my half-lidded eyes and slack jaw and said, “What the heck is wrong with you??”
“I’m on new medication,” I replied. “I’m a little bit whackadooey. Enjoy it while it lasts.”
He smiled and said, “Whatever!”
Whatever, indeed. “Whatever” is the theme of the day.
I don’t care to eat, either. Maybe this is a godsend.
I’m going to go clean the pool and I’m going to fucking enjoy it.
For once, the neuro proves to be useful. I feel great.
Thank God.
Happy Friday.
For-Tart wrote on 06/27/08 at 10:51 am :
Beware the fentanyl patch. A frind of mine is hoplessly in love with the things. He names each one and treats them like a wife.
Thom wrote on 06/27/08 at 3:30 pm :
You might as well make the most of your drug-induced euphoria while it lasts!
Have a fucking good time at the hen party!
LA wrote on 06/27/08 at 5:24 pm :
Fake bags and good drugs! YAY!!!!!! ~LA
freejeremy wrote on 06/27/08 at 9:04 pm :
i could use a little whackadooey in my life! you fortunate gal… transdermals are the next best thing to a booty-bump.
John in Phoenix wrote on 06/27/08 at 10:34 pm :
Ah yes…narcotics. Been there - doing them ! I’ve been on the damn ‘happy’ meds for almost 30 years now and am hopelessly addicted to them as well. I was FINALLY diagnosed last month with Fibro Mialgia which only means that I will have to continue the narcotic walk of life until I’m dead and buried. Color me thrilled *cough*. I know that you are in horrible pain sweetie but PLEASE be careful of the allure of the narcotic meds. As you are all too aware they can creep up and bite you square in the ass and not let go without some serious jaws of life to pry you loose of their tenacious grip. I don’t know what is worse, the pain from my body whenI am off the meds or the pain of BEING off the meds.
God bless us every one…
Love ya kiddo
John in Phoenix
Julie wrote on 07/5/08 at 2:13 pm :
I, too, have Fibromyalgia and have been on the Fentanyl Patch (Duragesic) for about 4 years. The Doc has “bumped me up” (as he so eloquently puts it) to the highest dosage (100 mcg), so I be flyin’ high. I love the things. Definitely can see how peeps get hooked on narcotics. They “make everything alright”……..
Enjoy.