SO.
July 11th, 2008 by trancejen
The sister in question is my stepsister Andrea, 25, chronic non-worker.
For the past five years she has been living with - hold your breath now - my stepbrother’s baby’s mother’s mother and father (no, we’re not white trash).
The dirt on Andrea is this. My stepfather and his ex-wife had five strapping young boys. They decided they wanted a girl, so they adopted one from Mexico. Andrea is actually a twin. Her other twin was adopted by some people in Arizona. When they were kids, my stepdad and the other family actually got them together every summer. Trippy, no?
Anyway, almost as soon as Andrea was adopted, my stepdad’s ex left both him and the children because she is a cold-hearted bitch. My stepdad, Jim, started dating my mom when Andrea was four years old.
Fast forward a few years and you have Andrea, with no high school diploma if I’m not mistaken, two children by the same non-working, no-child-support-paying loser, and nowhere to go.
She was booted from her most recent place of residence for dating a black guy. The couple apparently didn’t mind her two half-black children, but a black man? Heavens, no! What might the neighbors think!!
Whatever their racist reasons, I can’t really fault them for giving Andrea the boot. She had no job and therefore was contributing nothing financially, and if the way she’s living here is any indication, she’s not contributing in any other way, either.
Now, before you get me wrong, I love my sister. She’s a good-hearted, mellow, kind person who is always ready with a smile or a laugh. And God, do I love my niece and nephew.
Mr. Man is two and says “please’ and “thank you” every time for everything. Find me a child of any age that does that! He’s a sweet little boy who has a great personality, who actually listens, and who rarely even cries.
Miss Thing is five and is adorable. Her sassy little pointed face reminds me of a Disney princess. Last night I baked cookies and - against my better judgment - pretty much let her have free reign over adding the ingredients and doing the mixing, and she did a fine job. She was so proud of her self when she cracked the eggs and didn’t get any of the shells in the bowl. “I’m a good cooker!!” I mean, my heart isn’t fucking made of stone here, people.
I love them. They charm me. That being said, I still do not wish to have them in my face twenty-four seven. I feel old. I am sick. My kid is ten. I am done having small kids.
My sister sleeps till nine thirty. I am up at seven. Therefore I find myself feeding her kids, making sure that they do not extinguish one another, et cetera. When Andrea gets up, I feed her breakfast, too. Then I do all of the dishes.
When lunchtime comes, I make lunch. Then I do the dishes. I pick up the messes and toys and assorted junk that accumulates all over the house throughout the day. My mom and I make dinner. We clean up. My sister circles ads for apartments in the paper. The ones she’s called have all been rented because she waits three days to call on them. I do everyone’s laundry.
I went to the neurologist yesterday and he told me to go home and lie down. I am weak on my right side and have no reflexes. I have been having seizures like a freak. Once again, he increased my Topamax.
My neighbor, Diana, thinks I am insane. Bullshit does too. “Why the hell don’t you just wake her up in the morning?? Why are you doing all her shit??”
Because I am a shitty, stupid enabler. Because we all treat her like she’s five and can’t do for herself.
I don’t know why, but it has to stop.
What is really irking me about this situation is this: My stepdad has a big house with THREE EXTRA MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOMS. He just doesn’t want to deal with the kids. However, listen to this: Even if he didn’t want to ever lay eyes upon a child, he could take comfort in the fact that HE HAS A HUGE FUCKING FINISHED BASEMENT WITH A BEDROOM AND A BATHROOM IN IT - BOOM!!
Yet here are the TranceSuckers, putting up the crew. He gave us sixty dollars for food and told us that they will be staying there until she finds an apartment, and God only knows how long that will be.
My brother, who is some kind of big muckymuck at Target, is allegedly getting her a job at a Target store, so we’ll see.
In a way I don’t mind having them here because I love them and because the J-Man is having the time of his life with his little cousins, but in a way I feel overwrought and tired and irritated.
It’s a puzzlement.
This morning they are gone, off to pay a traffic ticket, and the house is blissfully quiet. I am smoking - something I can’t do when they are here - and drinking coffee, and I finally have the living room to myself. It’s nice.
I feel as guilty as hell for sitting here talking shit about my homeless sister, who is probably really fucking depressed, but I feel she needs to pull herself up by the bootstraps and get it together for her kids.
I’m off to physical therapy.
Happy Friday.
Julie wrote on 07/11/08 at 1:52 pm :
Um….you are sick. She is not. Time for Das Boot!
Bozoette Mary wrote on 07/11/08 at 6:55 pm :
Give her a deadline and then stick with it. I know; easy to say, hard to do or enforce, especially when there are little ones involved. But… oh hell. At least ask her to get up and take care of her kids.
goatbarnwitch wrote on 07/11/08 at 8:04 pm :
The girl needs to parent her own kids whether you love ‘em or not. Talk… and if that doesn’t work then offer terms…
sooboo wrote on 07/12/08 at 2:37 am :
Yeah…Maybe she needs a deadline. Ya know, just to motivate her a little.
Bre wrote on 07/12/08 at 10:32 am :
I’m confused. Is your mom still married to your stepdad? Why does your mom have to take care of her husband’s (ex-husband’s) child and grandchildren?
Kim wrote on 07/12/08 at 11:08 am :
You guys are doing the right thing, as sucky as it is right now. If there weren’t kids involved it would be one thing (which I’m guessing was your point), but hopefully this will let her try and get back on her feet. I feel for your family all the same though.
Gwensarah wrote on 07/12/08 at 4:57 pm :
I dunno, if she lived with your stepbrother’s baby’s mother’s parents (how oh how did that come to be?!) for five years without getting her shit together, I don’t know that it’s going to magically happen in a reasonable time frame now. It’s a nice thing you and your mom are doing but I sorta have to agree with what Bre said.
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Mo wrote on 07/14/08 at 9:54 am :
Wow…I’m sorry to hear this! We all have these people in our families and that sucks; majorly, majorly and there’s nothing that we can do about them. Ugh. I am sorry she’s like this and I hope that something motivates her to do more for herself, b/c quite frankly, it’s sad.
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