Update…
July 25th, 2008 by trancejen
My sister showed up about a week ago, having walked two miles from a local park because her car had broken down.
Guess who paid to get the car fixed.
She said she’d been staying with a friend with no phone, and that was that. She’s been back since, and it’s since been chaos, with the kids just everywhere, having decided to make me their own personal go-to girl. “Jen!!” “Jen!!”
I know I should be a hard-ass at this point and tell my sister that I can’t take care of her kids while she sleeps in and locks herself in my mother’s room during the day doing God-knows-what. I have spent the last week seizing and puking, particularly since Monday’s very rough trip to Six Flags. I had a massive seizure at Six Flags, bounced my head off of the concrete, and wound up stuck in some sort of medical shack being treated by people who looked moderately frightened. Thankfully the J-Man still had a good time because the other grownups involved went on about their business and took the kids on rides, but GOD, what a mess, and God, have I been fucked up since, and God, would I prefer some rest right about now instead of doing double dishes, double laundry, and watching triple children.
I’m whining a little here, and I feel like a schmuck for it, but damn, my sister is pissing me off. The kids are currently jumping on the couch and not listening to a damn word I say, which they generally don’t unless the words are “Here is some food.”
Jesus.
I love them all, but they’re honestly enough to drive you to drink.
With that, I have to go, because there’s a baby in my beads.
Happy Friday.
Christine wrote on 07/25/08 at 4:54 pm :
Jesus. To say “I’m sorry” doesn’t really cut it, does it? Here’s hoping your new roomies find somewhere new to live, sooner rather than later. What does mom think of the situation?
Trance wrote on 07/25/08 at 5:05 pm :
Mom is pretty much more of a hard-ass than I am, but is still just dealing with the situation because you don’t say no to family.
Katie wrote on 07/25/08 at 8:11 pm :
I’ve got a sister in law who behaves similarly. She dumps her one year old son with someone and then disappears- generally just for the weekend, but without answering phone calls or any explanation of her whereabouts whenever she decides to turn up again. (Well, unless it’s jail, then she calls.) The way my husband puts it, personal responsibility is not a term she has ever been familiar with, and now it’s a bit too late. And my in-laws keep bailing her out, they don’t even ask anymore, they just do it.
I know I’m not in that position, but personally, I know it’s not helping my sister-in-law. And it’s setting her son up for a rough time later on, spending his life getting transferred from extended family member to extended family member, what’s she going to do when he starts school?
Best of luck to you; do the best by her kids even if you can’t by her- they could probably benefit from any semblance of stability you could give them.
hostrauser wrote on 07/26/08 at 1:13 pm :
“because you don’t say no to family”
Well, Jen, you and I differ there. Even family has its limits. I’d be all like Eddie Murphy in “Trading Places,” turning of the music, pointing at the door and declaring, “GET THE FUCK OUT!”
Kimberly wrote on 07/27/08 at 8:13 am :
Dear Sister,
I am writing this letter on Jen’s behalf because she loves you too much and is too exhausted to say it herself. I, on the other hand know you not at all and am hyped on caffiene and anxiety and have no problem saying what needs to be said.
The bottom line is that no human being has the privilege to burden another person with their shit. This is because humans are, for the most part, gracious and kind creatures who want to help one another through moments of fragility. And we are all fragile at one time or another in some way or another. And we have every right to be helped and carried by those around us when we need it. In exchange for that we also have the responsibility to do the best we can to pick up or own shit and not take advantage of those who want to help us; otherwise we cancel out our entitlement to their help. Now get the fuck out of that bedroom, admit it whatever it is that keeps you from functioning like a responsible twenty five year old mother of two children and get help for it, and do your part to help your family rather than drain them. The fact that you were adopted, separated from a twin sister and may have a general lack of self worth is not an excuse to expect others to manage your life for you. Your worth as a person is determined by what you do it the moment, not by your past.
lisa-marie wrote on 07/28/08 at 2:49 pm :
Well sometimes you DO say no to family, Jen, especially when they’re basically mooching off you despite knowing your disabilies and all the crap you already have to deal with! Hell, your sister should be helping YOU with dishes and housekeeping and kid-watching, not the other way around! Sheesh!
Mo wrote on 07/28/08 at 8:35 pm :
I agree with the other people here, Jen. You DO say no to family, when they have crossed the line and done too much to cause havoc. Your sister has done too much! You have ONE child so you shouldn’t have to take care of triple children! You just shouldn’t have to! That’s not fair. And, since you’ve let her get away with it this time, and who knows how many others, she’ll never grow up. Tough love cultivates people…and at the rate she’s going, she’ll never grow up.
lilacorchid wrote on 07/29/08 at 8:53 am :
I’m glad to hear that your sister turned up. You must be relieved. Good luck with the houseful!
Prozac. wrote on 11/15/08 at 10:11 am :
Prozac….
What is prozac used for. Side effects of prozac. Prozac side effect. Quitting prozac. Prozac….