Archive for the 'GRAAAAH' Category
Dead Souls and Rebel, Rebel.
Monday, November 6th, 2006As if the live centipedes were not enough to sufficiently make me crawl silently into a corner and chew on the drapes, yesterday I was assaulted by one that had come back from the grave specifically to torture me.
I am working on a new mosaic table with vitreous glass tiles, the largest I have attempted […]
The Centipede War Rages On.
Thursday, November 2nd, 2006Last night, I went down into the Trance Cave and curled up in bed with my newest Augusten Burroughs* book, which I was enjoying thoroughly.
*If you haven’t read any Burroughs, start with Running With Scissors and move on from there - it’s caustic, funny stuff.
As I sat there, warm underneath the down comforter and securely […]
Bad Medicine.
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006Normally I fall forward when passing out. When I do fall backward, I usually land on my ass, which is well-padded and breaks my fall enough to make whacking the back of my head less hairy.Yesterday, I had a rather unlucky fall and managed to fall backwards and land with the back of my […]
The Appliances Hate Me.
Thursday, October 26th, 2006The refrigerator stopped working about three hours ago.
First the microwave, then the furnace and hot water heater, then the computer, and now the fridge. Why the hell can’t something cheap and easily replaceable like the toaster or the can opener break??
Don’t fuck with me, oven. I will kick you to the curb and become one […]
Afternoon of the Living Dead.
Tuesday, October 24th, 2006Last night was the first night in at least ten years that I have not taken any medication at night.
I have abso-fucking-lutely no idea how to sleep without it. I’m so used to simply zonking right out after taking pills (gee, that sounds healthy) that my ability to drift off to dreamland without them […]
Weekend Update…
Friday, October 20th, 2006- Finally out of the hospital
- Thoroughly exhausted
- Hospital pillows are filled with cardboard or possibly rat bones
- Am going to sleep for three days and tend to punctured arms, which now have 347 holes and look like Canadian sunrises because NOBODY can put an IV in these arms or hands
- Doctors still suck
- So […]
Yer On Notice.
Tuesday, October 10th, 2006I may have just returned from an appointment - an appointment which may have been quite far from my house - where a fucking nurse may have just informed me that I was cancelled due to a scheduling conflict.
God forbid the motherfuckers call me ahead of time. That would be the polite, responsible […]
So Much For Frivolous…
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006We need a new furnace.
Damn!!
Double damn.
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Memo To The Universe:
Sunday, September 24th, 2006Dear Universe:
Whatever sort of pollen, ragweed, DDT, toxic fumes, anthrax, flying mold spores, or other airborne fuckyuck you have unleashed onto the greater Chicagoland area today needs to be quelled, because I am so short of breath that I cannot even smoke.
Seriously, it’s like Rush Limbaugh is sitting on my chest and I can’t even […]
One More Thought… (because you care)
Wednesday, September 20th, 2006In the interest of being utterly bored by my totally self-absorbed navel gazing, I have decided that I am COMPLETELY FUCKING SICK of talking about my innards.
COMPLETELY. FUCKING. SICK OF IT.
I declare October to be a month free of Jen Trance Sick Stories, and I heretofore swear that I will not mention anything happening underneath […]
