Archive for the 'I Am Stupid' Category
Guess How Much I Paid For This!! GUESS!!
Thursday, July 31st, 2008I was talking to a friend the other day about a certain disease I have that involves both bargain shopping and diarrhea of the mouth.
I love to bargain shop. I am the Target discount rack queen, and I also shop their internet clearance page frequently. I believe that paying full price for something […]
Survival.
Wednesday, February 13th, 2008Thanks to our very recent fire, there is no longer a space heater in the TranceCave.
Thanks to this lack of space heaterage, I no longer have even the most minuscule molecule of heat available for me to cling to at night.
It is colder than a well-digger’s ass in the TranceCave, provided that said well-digger is […]
Feet Feet Feet Feet.
Friday, February 8th, 2008My feet are tore up from the floor up.
There is a song by the Distillers called “Crazed, Cracked, and Peeling”, and I think that the title is quite perfectly suited to my poor feet right about now. Crazed, cracked, and peeling. I can’t stand it. I can hardly look at them.
My toenails, my beautiful, always-perfect […]
Busted and Church.
Wednesday, February 6th, 2008The culprit has been found.
I don’t know why we didn’t see it.
She has a history of violence
and altercations
with Elmo, who as you can see is becoming severely emotionally damaged.
This should have been our first tip-off. However, we erroneously saw this as nothing more than simple play, not the misdemeanors indicative of felonies to come.
She […]
Jen Blazes Up the TranceCave.
Monday, February 4th, 2008I am a monumental dumbass.
Truly.
I am one of those people who lives in a pretty pink bubble that will not be popped, and who believes under most circumstance, It Will Never Happen To Me.
For this reason, I went against every sane bone in my body and every electrical code imaginable and created the Ghetto-Fabulous Electrical […]
An Open Letter To Hugh Laurie.
Thursday, January 31st, 2008Hugh.
At first it was almost sort of endearing, but you have got to stop stalking me.
I understand that you found me because both Pointless Banter and TranceJen are fast becoming household names due to our reputation for producing modern, cerebral literature at its best.
I’m well aware that celebrities, as such, need to unwind with a […]
A Little Bit of Soap.
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008You know, I’m as girly (I loathe the connotations of that word, as if I should be wearing a pink flowered dress and white patent leather Mary Janes - still, I could not think of one to better suit my purpose) as the next girl and I like “product” too.
Still, I sometimes long for the […]
You’re Not The Only Thing I’ve Been Ignoring…
Monday, November 26th, 2007…by a long shot. I’ve been ignoring the whole internet and the computer in general. Brand-new computer, shiny red, asleep in its bag. Old black computer, unloved, unused but for a few moments in which the J-Man needs it to look up Playstation cheat codes. There is no computing going on […]
Sloth.
Monday, October 8th, 2007I know I’m not feeling well, but someone needs to come to my home and physically drag me away from the Lifetime movies, because it is getting Out Of Control.
The plots are inane, the acting is horrible, the commercials are horrifically frequent (or perhaps not) and horribly mom-oriented, and yet I CANNOT TURN AWAY.
Obviously I […]
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Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007The Cleveland Clinic is a no-go.
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