Archive for the 'The J-Man' Category
Crank It Up.
Saturday, February 3rd, 2007I strongly recommend the Pixies on a Saturday morning.
Goes well with your coffee.
I seem to have acquired yet another kid. Jorge the tiny break-dancing Mexican down the street still comes over a good four days a week, and now the new next-door neighbor kid is over every damn day, and I think he has […]
A Magical Winter Wonderland… Full of Phlegm.
Monday, January 22nd, 2007The ground is covered with snow, and my kid was actually outside yesterday playing in the stuff thanks to a new neighbor kid named Stanley. The new kid has not yet learned that kids in this neighborhood eschew the outdoors as if they all were little vampires, and I’m glad.
I am filled with phlegm. I […]
Jen Did Not Overdose On Nog.
Thursday, January 4th, 2007I have been the victim of some cruel and horrible cable internet influenza that wormed its way into my phone line and wreaked havoc, causing my little computer box to become sick and take to its little computer bed for far too long a time.
I have dealt with this in the normal way, by swearing […]
The Festive Christmas Zit.
Monday, December 11th, 2006Occasionally I get so tickled by an album - whether new or old -that I have to listen to it ten thousand times, and
this week that album is Tegan and Sara’s So Jealous. Give it a listen.
A close runner up is Sufjan Stevens’s Illinoise.
It’s cute little indie rock week! Cut your own hair […]
Not Just Your Garden-Variety Mini-Smartass.
Tuesday, November 21st, 2006My child is fast becoming a serious smartass, and I need to do something about it.
It is a natural thing that a smartass should beget a smartass, and since there have been many, many generations of smartasses in my family, the level of smartassery in my household is near-toxic. Still, I am prone to […]
Sure. Right.
Saturday, November 18th, 2006Top Ten Big Fat Lying Lies Children Tell
1. I was just about to flush the toilet.
2. I totally brushed my teeth for two minutes!
3. I don’t know why ____ is mad at me.
4. But I’m full.
5. I’m not tired.
6. Two more minutes and I’ll be done/ready/have my pajamas on/inside/finish cleaning up.
7. I didn’t know.
8. I […]
Beep Beep Boop.
Thursday, November 16th, 2006Can someone explain to me the point of the modern video game?Against my better judgment I allowed my father to purchase a Playstation 2 for the J-Man last Christmas. I have found that, if left to his own devices (which he is not), the child would sit in front of the thing and drool […]
Bullshit Passes.
Monday, November 6th, 2006The J-Man met Bullshit - albeit very briefly - this afternoon. I actually could not have timed the proceedings better if I had orchestrated the meeting personally, which I hadn’t. Bullshit had come by during the day to hang out, and J. arrived home from school about five minutes before he left.
The J-Man has been […]
Dead Souls and Rebel, Rebel.
Monday, November 6th, 2006As if the live centipedes were not enough to sufficiently make me crawl silently into a corner and chew on the drapes, yesterday I was assaulted by one that had come back from the grave specifically to torture me.
I am working on a new mosaic table with vitreous glass tiles, the largest I have attempted […]
On Spiders and Babies.
Tuesday, October 31st, 2006My child is trying to give me a stroke:
“Hey mom!! Look at this one! It’s a Fragarooga Spider!””Not looking.”
“Look!”
“I AM NOT LOOKING AT THE SPIDER.”
“It’s just a book. Hey, look at this one. Ewwwwwww, it’s all big and red. It’s a Froogenooga spider.”
“J. I AM NOT LOOKING AT ANY GIANT […]
